|Review:||Roots in Water says:|
It's Roots in Water here with your review!
I don't think that I've ever read a story similar to this... It was definitely very original and an enjoyable read.
To begin, I think that your first person narrative really allowed you to capture Tonks in a manner that wouldn't have happened otherwise. So much of her character is bound in her leaping thoughts and weird logic and you were able to explore this in first person. I don't even know how you would have begun to do that in third person.
I really enjoyed her conversation with Molly, though I had to reread the beginning of the section a few times before I realized that she was talking with Molly (I was somehow under the impression that she was eavesdropping on Molly's conversation with someone else and I was trying to figure out who it was...). It was nice to see Molly reprise her favourite role and do it with such success. She was such a loveable character in the books and you've captured that again here.
I found her thoughts about her past relationship with Charlie very interesting because Molly was trying to set her up with Bill in the sixth book. Is their relationship canon? Either way I liked how you described their relationship: very good friends who decided to give a romantic relationship a try. Tonks' comments/comparisons of it with her blossoming relationship with Remus were a nice touch.
I noticed two small things as I was reading and they could just fall under personal preference. Feel free to ignore! The first is with the phrase "No trouble, dear"; when Molly says this I think that it would sound more like her if it was lengthened just a tad, to something along the lines of "It was no trouble, dear" or "No trouble at all, dear". The second is with the phrase "I feel badly for him". I'm not sure exactly what the grammar rules are for this but I think that it would be "bad" instead of "badly". Sorry if I've gotten it wrong.
I think that the premise of the story is very believable. We know very well that Remus was reluctant to start a relationship with Tonks and we also know that Tonks succeeded in winning his heart. This was an explanation of one of the first stepping stones between those two points.
Though your idea about metamorphs being able to transform into animals is unusual, I definitely think that you sold it by paying such close attention to her transformation. If you had simply said that she transformed into a werewolf, it wouldn't have worked. Instead, with the lengthly description you made it seem canon that they could transform into animals.
However, I was surprised when Tonks just walked into the room with Remus. I would have thought that she'd be warier around a werewolf... Especially not knowing that he was chained. But then again he was probably taking Wolfsbane... Which leads me to my next point of confusion. I wasn't sure whether or not he was under Wolfsbane because while at times he acted more human than animal, as though he could understand Tonks, there were also moments where he seemed to have disappeared under the influence of the wolf, such as the moment where he jumps through the window. What are your thoughts on the matter?
On a final note, I absolutely loved your description of Sirius and Remus' relationship. It fit perfectly with what I imagined their relationship to be and you gave it such depth.
All in all, I think that you did a great job with the story! I enjoyed reading your characterization of Tonks, our favourite metamorph! Thanks for requesting a review and I hope that my comments are helpful!
Author's Response: Hi, there! Sorry for the terribly slow response.
Whew! I'm glad you liked the first-person. Writing it was an adventure, to say the least. I'm not at all used to it and I kept fading back into third person and then having to go back and fix it. Tonks is a huge amount of fun to write in third person, though. So much personality to draw on.
I thought Molly was a really good sounding board to help Tonks get over her doubts about pursuing Remus. She wants to see everybody happy and in love, so I figured that she would try to nudge things along.
Tonks and Charlie's relationship is not canon, although we know they were roughly the same age. It's just one of those very appealing bits of head canon I've picked up along the way. Most of my favorite Tonks stories involve Charlie in some way, usually as the ex-boyfriend that she can't quite ever get over. As far as Molly trying to fix Tonks up with Bill, I guess I sort of chose to ignore that part.
I think I like your phrasing on those two points. I also have a few other things I need to patch up, so maybe I'll do some editing on this later today.
I'm sort of relieved that you thought the idea of a metamorph being able to transform into an animal form like a werewolf was believable. It's far and away the biggest stretch of the story, I think, but there's nothing in canon that says it isn't possible. I did try really hard to make it seem really difficult and painful. To me, that was the key to selling the whole thing.
Hmmnnn... Maybe I didn't explain the reason why Tonks walked into the room quite well enough. Her thought process is basically that since she can hear him on the other side of the room and he obviously knows that she's there -- snarling, growling, etc. -- he must have restrained himself somehow. Plus, she's an Auror and she's armed, so she's probably very comfortable with her ability to take care of herself.
I'm really glad you liked the story. It was fun to write and lined up nicely with the story it was dedicated to. Thanks for reading and reviewing!