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Review:Anonymous says:
The grammar is terrible. You should indent when each character speaks. It would make it much easier to read. Try saying don't, they're, couldn't, etc. And capitalizing I's and putting spaces between each sentence and word. And there's no need for putting random capitalized words in the middle of sentences. Otherwise I'd be willing to read it. I hope this doesn't come off as rude, it's just some suggestions and tips.

Author's Response: I realize that the grammar isn't the best in this chapter, it was the first one I'd posted and the first fan fiction I'd written. I have gotten better in my editing since, there are still mistakes here and there but sometimes while typing and editing i miss them which is understandable. thank you for the suggestion.

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