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Review:Jchrissy says:
Hi there! I love a story that focuses on friendship. Not that this is what these two girls currently are, but It seems fairly inevitable that they'll end up that way!

I actually enjoyed your perspective switches, and was happy to read that you'd continue transitioning every chapter. First person isn't a style I love because of the limited view point, so I'm glad you'll open that up by using both Maggie and Beth!

I think you did a very good job giving your characters realistic personalities and believable actions that go towards those personalities. I am really curious about Beth's younger brother and hope that we find more out about his illness!

I think you've created a really interesting start, though there are a few rough patches (mainly where dialogue punctuation is concerned) but they aren't cause enough to make me want to stop reading.

Have you considered getting a beta reader? I love having one, he's awesome at helping me be sure that a chapter is as smooth as it can get. There aren't many mistakes, but a good beta reader could absolutely spot the errors!

Great start, m'dear!

Jami

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to review this!! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

I normally can't stand 1st person perspectives for the same reason but this story just became too general when I put it in 3rd person.

Yea I need to go through and edit this chapter properly. My punctuation around dialogue has always been a bit patchy so hopefully this story will brush up my skills a bit.

I'm not really so keen for a beta reader. I know they will pick up a bunch of mistakes but I'm still deciding whether or not I really like this story and I don't want to have a beta reader, only to give up on the story half way through.

Thanks again for the review!!!


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