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Review:shadowycorner says:
So I've read this chapter a few hours ago, but it was hard to find the right words because it's all so effin' heartbreaking. You've set it all up perfectly. I liked the parentheses touch, and the breaking up of text in the end. It really felt just like Fred's life being broken up.

From beginning to end, Fred's narrative was to die for. I was drinking in every word and once again, you just kill me with some of your sentences and expressions and you're weaving the words here with such magic! Reading this was really a treat.

Their plan to die together makes sense and that's how it should've been, not like this. The moment of Fred's almost death was very well-executed. They got so close to losing one another they for the first time came to dwell on the subject. And the way they talked to each other, and finished off each other's sentences...that was so amazing, I can't even begin to tell you how much that made me smile and then just crumble inside.

Oh and the last line was brilliant and also totally devastating, but mainly brilliant. I'm glad there was another chapter to this story, and oh my dear lord you truly need to write more, because you can really do it! I'm really intrigued about how this continues. Can't wait for the next chapter. :)

Liz

Author's Response: Hello again Liz :D

Thanks! I'm a little teary to have received two such wonderful reviews from you. Also, I have a terrible cold :D Your lovely words made me feel much better. I'm glad you like this chapter as well; it does need a bit of editing and rewriting.


I have finished writing Chapter 3, though it might be harder to get through it (it's heavier and with even less dialogue) than these two first chapters; but I'm hoping you'll like it just as much. It's been in the validation queue for a couple of days now so it should be accessible pretty soon...if it is validated (hopefully nothing I've written is too unpublishable for the archives).

Thank you once again, I can't thank you enough! Always a pleasure when someone enjoys your writing :D

-teh


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