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Review:hedwigs_theme says:
Ohh this is such a sad chapter :*( I can't believe she has never had a friend! How sad :(

Hi it's potterweasleygranger from the forums and challenge.

This was a great (and sad) start to what seems like an interesting story with a creative plot line. I can't wait to read on and see where it goes!

Firstly I would like to complement you on this quote (I think it's also part of your summary) "It was like I had a sign on my forehead that read, 'I HAVE NO FEELINGS SO MAKE FUN OF ME BECAUSE IT DOESN’T MAKE ME CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP. SERIOUSLY, HAVE AT IT! MAKE FUN OF ME!’"

This is a fantastic quote that really shows emotion and gives an insight into just how Clara is feeling. There were some other examples of good quotes in this chapter to which proves that creating quotes such as these is a talent of yours!

I also love the name of your house elf, Hooky. How Cute!

Also, lovely similes, I noticed the ant and foot simile was a great idea and just like the quote, gives us an insight on just how heartcrushing bullying is.

Lastly, I love how you characterised James and how you wrote that he went from being so rude and arrogant (which is how I picture him normally) to being generous and kind, just by the simple scolding from his cousin. This is a new side of James for me so I am intrigued to see how you continue to write him in future chapters!

I love this chapter it is so well written and really shows emotion. It is also about a sad but different topic that I've not read much of in fanfiction.

I will read chapter 2 ASAP.
Keep up the good work!

~pwg/ht

Author's Response: Hello there! Sorry for the lateness of this response, I've got a lot on my plate right now!

Yeah, the quote was part of the summary. I'm glad you thought it gave an insight to how Clara was feeling, I really wanted to get that through! I'm glad you liked my other quotes too. :)

Hahaha, I spent ages looking at house elf names! Glad to hear that you liked it! ;)

Bullying is heart-crushing, I really wanted to get that through and I basically wrote my experiences of bullying! You feel so insignificant and so many people don't understand that.

I think James is someone who thinks they're being nice and happy, but when someone tells him that he isn't, he'll change. I think he's a bit naive but with the right direction, he's a pretty good boy. :p

I'm glad you liked it! Thank you for taking the time to review this and thanks for making me the winner of your challenge! :D


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