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Review:caoty says:
Hey, I'm from the Review Pairing thingy in the common room.

So. This was a very realistic portrayal of the experiences of a Muggleborn witch in the Muggle world; the kind of isolation and alienation someone in Lynette's position has got to feel is... well, a lot... and you've shown that really well. I love realism, so this makes me happy.

I like how you've also got a bit of irony there in Nate's sexism - he thinks Lynette knows nothing about sports, yet she's a competent player of one of the most difficult and exclusive sports in the world. It also highlights a complete divide between the Wizarding and Muggle worlds that is pretty difficult to reconcile.

And, of course, Daniel, ever the rationalist. The sort-of-romantic tension and the cute-funny moments you've shown us between them really make that ending work. Even though it's technically not an unusual decision on the part of a Muggleborn/half-blood/Squib, Lynette's silence is still really sad. I like it. (In case you hadn't guessed.)

I've got a bit of criticism, as well:

Firstly, the spacing between your paragraphs needs to be sorted out (please) because it's quite distracting and, unfortunately, there are many people who'll think that formatting issues = badly-written story.

Also, you've still got typos (so you or Elenia may want to look that over again), and I'm not sure about the last couple of sentences. To me,
"After all, magic is not real," she said quietly.
would have been a killer last line on its own, and the last couple of sentences are telling us what we can already infer from her interactions with Daniel. In my opinion, you don't really need them.

Anyway - this was a well-written one-shot about things that we don't really think about. Well done! :)

Author's Response: Hi Caoty!

First of all, I would like to apologize for taking so long long to reply to your review. It's just that I have been busy with my term papers and all that.

About the review. Thank you so much for appreciating my story the way you did. I am so glad you thought my story was realistic enough. I was really worried that I wasn't able to portray the friendship between Daniel and Lynette properly. So it's nice that you found them cute. The conversation between Lynette and her brother was also very important. I think it's great that you thought it was nicely done.

As always, I love constructive criticisms. Thank you for pointing out the spacing issue between my paragraphs. You're first one to point that out for me and I would try to get it fixed as soon as possible.

I also understand why you thought the last few lines were unnecessary to some extent. I think it's about time that I start editing this story.

Once again, thank you so much for this wonderful review. I really really appreciate it. :D


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