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Review:Remus says:
Hey! Back for more!

So sorry I took a while. Life's been rather busy, I wasn't even able to log on and answer reviews or be on the forums but better late than never!! :D

Again, I have to commend you on the narrative and description. I was able to imagine Sin chilling out with the plant as she slowly tried to dig it out. I can see a bit of her "forgotten self" bleeding through Sin making her be the same character we all know. Going with the whole theory of Hermione being Sin. ;P

I like how you're taking your time with telling us what happened to Hermione.

barley stretched 60 cm wide--When it comes to numbers in narrative or text, spell it out. It breaks away from the whole narrative if you add numbers. You have to have consistency. For example in the line that reads:

old her it was only seven, his letter said he would be here around 8-- you had 'seven' spelled out with 'eight' was the written number.

And by the way! The name Elric would've been a nice name for an owl, however Alfonse works fine as well. I'm thinking of getting a hedgehog so I might name him Elric...XD

I had to google what carbonara was and my mouth watered...

I was about to tell you that the plot seemed to be getting nowhere except to give us a little insight Sin's and Draco's life. However, man! You proved me wrong! I want to know what happens next! I'm guessing she fled to Narcissa's, right?

Who where the people? What happened to Hermione's memories? So many questions I have!!

Which is good! If a story doesn't interest me, I just go "meh...whatever." However, you managed to intrigue me with the plot! :D

The only little critique aside from the numbers I mentioned before is that there were some spots where you're missing some commas or periods. Other than that...that's it!

Great chapter and I wish to know what happens next! So yeah! Let me know if you update! Adding this to my faves! :D

--Rosie/Perelandra

Author's Response: Thank you for the number's bit. I'll go in and edit it on my saved version. :)

Hedhogs are sooo cute.. ! Eeee

hehe Carbonara one of my favorite dinners. Even if it does take a bit to make.

Thank you for the review. I'll message you when I have the next chapter posted. Though its kinda taken a back burner to my being super behind on my NaNo. :/ Anyways Happy Reading! :3

~ Lady


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