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Review:teh tarik says:
This is a great beginning! The sense of grief and loss is very well-established from the start, and the story has a very heavy atmosphere. The absence of dialogue works well, and it does underline the reality of just how inexpressible the loss of Scorpius is to Draco, and Ron's death to Hermione. And Scorpius' death to Rose as well. The relationships between the characters already sound quite complex this early in the story. So, great work; it will be interesting to see how all their relationships unfold and the characters develop in future chapters.

I love the level of detail your prose goes into, e.g. these lines:

The thatched roof, whose shape reminded her of a Beauxbaton’s hat, gave it that cute magical look that she fell in love with. It had warm wide-plank wooden floors, an oversized stone fireplace, and a porch with a wonderful swing overlooking a brook. Her favorite was the whimsical bookshelves that held books in a circular pattern on the walls.


Hermione went into her daughter’s bedroom and found the silver Malfoy ring on the bed, binding together a bouquet of decaying roses from the funeral of Scorpius Malfoy.

Lovely breathtaking imagery! Especially of the flowers held together by the ring :)

I do have some reservations about describing a piece of parchment as a "formal grey elegance", though. It does sound a little odd and clunky but it's probably just my own personal preference.

Hope you keep at writing this :) It's a wonderful start!


Author's Response: teh tarik,

Wow, what a wonderful in-depth review. Thank you so much.

I'm so glad that you liked the start to this story. I am planning only 2 more chapters. :)

Thank you for commenting on the depth of their characters and your word 'complex' certainly describes how they are so deeply connected. This actually comes up later in the story.

You mention some of my favorite parts. I imagine that cottage of hers to be magical looking and wanted others to 'see' it as well. And the ring holding the flowers together... ah, a sad image, indeed. Thank you for mentioning it. :)

And lastly, you are so right about 'formal grey elegance.' I got a little stuck on it originally and should've known to change it. LOL! And so I did. The edit will probably come out today or tomorrow. Thank you for your suggestion.

More to come soon... and now there is a beautiful banner to go along with it. Yeah!

Thanks so very much for your wonderful review. It is so much appreciated, as so few do.

Dark Whisper

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