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Review:MercyWaters says:
This was a really cute story. I like the light-hearted premise of it and how it's clear they become good friends after their odd little encounter. I'll admit the beginning, writing-wise, seemed a bit rough in terms of spelling and grammar and whatnot, but it had noticeably improved by the end!

I have a few things I'd like to point out. First off, your sentences could get a bit wordy. Try not to ramble on in one sentence. Rather, cut them down and separate them into smaller sentences that are more concise and more appealing to read. People can be easily turned off it your sentences are too lengthy and become a mouthful. A long sentence here or there is okay to balance it all out, but don't let them completely dominate your writing!

Also, some of the words you were using near the beginning didn't sound right. Affrightedly, for example, is not a word. I've never heard it before and though a few websites came up with "definitions" when I looked it up, it's not in an official dictionary or on any reliable websites. Also, "dived" is incorrect and should be written as "dove". You mentioned "baited breath" at one point, which is correct except for the spelled, which should be "bated". Lastly, when she first bursts in to the broom cupboard and Gideon is confronting her, he says: "Iíve been so unceremoniously interpreted"--I'm thinking you mean interrupted? Sorry for all the nit-picking, but I'm a bit of a grammar/spelling enthusiast!

All that aside, content-wise this was a cute and entertaining story that I enjoyed reading. Not to mention it focused on otherwise ignored characters, which is always good! Nice job. :)

Bri, xx

Author's Response: Thank you for the wonderful and really helpful review! I'm glad you enjoyed my story!

I don't mind the nit-picking at all. I'd rather someone point it out so that I can fix it. I think I put affrightedly in there because I was looking for a similar word and Microsoft Word came up with that as a suggestion. I suppose I just assumed it was a word, haha. I'll get right on fixing that and all the other words!

I see what you mean about longer sentences. It's definitely a pet peeve of mine when authors do that so I'll get right on fixing it!

Thank you again for the lovely review and all its helpful advice.
~cb ")


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