Okay, so I know you said you wanted your newer stuff reviewed and I hope this counts as newer stuff because it just looked so interesting and tempting... I'm so sorry if it's not, but hopefully this will be all right!
First thing I have to say is that stream-of-consciousness style is pretty difficult - I tried doing a stream-of-consciousness one-shot once and it went so badly, I found it so difficult to do without going off on completely random tangents... - so well done on doing it and doing it so well! I can't honestly see where it started off as a rant, tbh. It just doesn't feel like that. It feels so far beyond a simple, angry rant about something.
Gah, all the emotions! There are so many in here! I love how Ginny, a Gryffindor who was possessed by Lord Voldemort (and therefore must be pretty strong to come out of that the way she did), is scared. How she's worried. How the war has left it's mark on her. I've read a lot of stories where Harry has a lot of scars, both mentally and physically, from the war, and it's such a brilliant and unique take on Ginny. I really enjoyed it. But then, you went beyond fear, to the sadness and hurt at the memories of the deaths and the losses of the war, as well. You created such a still, emotive atmosphere with the list of names. It reminds me of when you hear people reading out lists of the war dead on Remembrance Day and other similar ceremonies - so, so powerful and so beautifully understated but no less tragic. You really captured that feeling so well in this.
It was so simple. I think that's what I love most about this one-shot. You didn't ham it all up and throw in scenes of absolute desperation and over-used, cliche lines about how she feels about losing a brother, friends, people she looked up to, about experiencing the things she did. You kept it simple and clean, so that the emotion could come through, and gosh it really did. I'm not an emotive person, but even I was sitting here with no hint of a smile, feeling oddly sombre and just... touched, you know.
So yeah, I really enjoyed this. You should really be proud of this - everything was just so well done :)
Author's Response: Anything you'd like to read and review is A-Okay with me. I aboslutely adore the reviews you leave. They're always so sweet and encouraging...they're great, really!
I am going to agree with you right off the bat here; the stream of consciousness style is not easy. As you think through situations, it's so easy for your mind to jump topics and if you're writing everything that you're thinking...well, staying on topic is near impossible. I've tried writing in this style again and it just hasn't happened this well again. I think the only true reason this story did work out as well as it did was that some of the emotions Ginny had were what I was feeling at the time. My emotions were directed at a different sort of situation, but it didn't take much to translate my emotions to her with a different situation the cause. And I'm also glad that the rant wasn't easily identifable and different from the rest of the story...it means I was able to keep up the same intensity with the emotion the entire way through.
And speaking of emotions...I spent quite a while deciding on which character I wanted to place in the center of this. It didn't take me long to land on Ginny and I landed on Ginny because most of the stories post-war have Harry dealing with the emotions and Ginny helping him through. They really don't go into the idea of Ginny being torn up about the war and the aftermath and I just felt like this would be a brilliant outlet for her character.
I am also really gald that this story resonated so well with you and that the emotion was easy to pick up on. I'm glad I was able to avoid the cliche's and really write a story that affected you. It's all that I hoped for with this story and more. I really am proud of how well this turned out and that people enjoyed this story as much as they did.
Thank you so, so much for this review! I appreciate it more than you know!