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Review:caoty says:
You are far too hard on yourself. I thought this chapter was great fun. You're a good humour writer.

Regulus and his mates-that-he-hates are very realistic - getting drunk, whining about not being able to have sex without there being strings attached - yeah, I've seen that in real life, and it's funny and stupid here. I would say though, where you've used 'pureblood' in that drunken wedding conversation, maybe you should replace that 'proper' or 'rich' instead? 'cause, you know, it's pretty much a given that they will not date anyone whose blood can't be compared to driven snow.

Your introduction of the mysterious-tormented Bess isinteresting, too. She's funny, naive and brave, which is a fun combination. She obviously is in danger of being infected by generic-romcom-OC syndrome, but you can work through that.

I also thought that the writing style here's a bit different from that of the last chapter - it's not an inherently bad thing, I'm just not sure what to make of it.

Anyway. I know you said you hate this, but I don't think it's terrible. :)

Author's Response: Hi there! =)

Yeah, my inner critic tends to be quite demanding. =P I do like to write humour, but I'm just not sure if it serves the purpose here. This was supposed to be originally more angsty/drama and now it looks like there's going to be some black comedy spins on it.

I love writing teenage boys with all the crudeness and vulgarities. I guess the 'pureblood' comment underlines the idea bit too much, so I guess have to reread and maybe even rewrite this chapter after NaNo.

Yeah, the change of tone is definitely one of the things I worry in this fic. I guess I just have work through it and find some kind of happy medium between black comedy and angsty drama. =P

Thanks for stopping by for the review. =)

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