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Review:MercyWaters says:
This was a very interesting idea! I like the premise and definitely enjoyed reading it. It's always interesting to read a story about life after the war and see how the characters are coping with the aftermath.

I'll admit the Harry seemed a bit out of character at times, but given the nature of the story itself I don't find that all that bothersome. The ending seemed a bit rushed though. Remember, don't try to wrap things up just for the sake of finishing it quickly! Let the story unfold naturally, the way it should, rather than forcing it. I think this story has the potential of being a short story if everything is fleshed out properly. Also, when it comes to description and just writing style in general, remember to SHOW not TELL. A lot of times you would just outright say what was happening or how a character was feeling. For example: "Ron stayed silent, probably because he didnít want to upset his little sister or his girlfriend" is TELLING how Ron is feeling. He doesn't want to speak because he's afraid he'll upset someone. Rather than outright saying this, describe Ron's body language to the reader so they can assume this on their own. You could say something like this: "Ron's mouth set into a hard line as he observed Ginny and Hermione bickering. He said nothing, but fidgeted slightly, glancing almost sympathetically over at the glowering Harry."

So, disregarding the few stylistic things I like to nitpick, I think was well written and flows nicely. Once again, very interesting idea! It was an enjoyable read.

Bri, xx

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the wonderful review! :)

I know it was a very strange and bizarre idea, but after watching a whole lot of Christmas movies and getting attacked by plunnies, I just couldn't not write this! :P

The story's overall strange nature did affect Harry's characterization. In fact, I don't even really think he was this over-emotional after the war. It was just so that the story would make a bit more sense, for him to act this way.

The ending was a bit unnatural, now that you pointed that out. And I completely understand the 'show' and not 'tell' thing. I'll probably edit Ron's action into the story sometime! That was a really good idea. :)

I'm glad you thought this was an interesting idea overall, so thanks so much for taking the time to leave this review. :)


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