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Review:magnolia_magic says:
Hi! Maggie here from the forums with your review!

First of all, it was such an unexpected pleasure to read this story. I wasn't sure what to think about a story centered around Madam Pomfrey--I had never read one before, and so I had no clue what to expect. But I just love what you've done with this! The prose is beautiful. There's just not a lot more I can say about it. I just lost myself in the flow of the words, and I was fascinated by the description of magical diseases. It's just captivating.

My favorite part is the way you end the first section. "Skin cells can remember things too." Just a beautiful line, simple and yet heart-rendering.

In your request, you asked if I could tell that this chapter was narrated by two different characters. Honestly, I couldn't. I had no idea until I read back over your post and read your areas of concern. And that was super confusing, especially with the change from second person to first. But then again, I saw that some of your reviewers picked up on it right away. So maybe I'm just slow on the uptake (very likely :P), but I couldn't tell at all, and I was really confused about who was narrating and why it was suddenly first person at the end.

That said, though, I think you did a wonderful job with writing in second person. It's kind of a tricky animal: sometimes it's completely awkward, and sometimes it really adds to the story. Yours is lyrical and effortless to read, and it lends a mysterious feel to that introduction. I loved reading it :)

Overall, I think you're off to an amazing start! Feel free to PM me if you have any questions, and I'd love to see a re-request when my queue empties out :)


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