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Review:Voldy Needs a Hug says:
I wanted to start off my review with apologizing for my tardiness. Now that we've gotten that aside, I really enjoyed this chapter, and I thought it was an excellent start to the fanfiction.

Plot- I was impressed by the ease at which you managed to introduce readers to the characters and their circumstances, while still keeping the plot interesting and moving along. You jumped right into the story, instead of spending the first fourteen paragraphs describing Lily's hair, as some authors tend to do. I found the events enticing and captivating as a reader, which compelled me to continue reading. This is, in no way, a reflection of your writing, rather my own stupidity, but I just realized as I began typing this review as to why the chapter is entitled "In which the force is disturbed." That's embarrassing.

Flow- The events flowed very smoothly, in my opinion. Introductions are often the hardest portion of a story to write and often have a choppy flow. You, however, do not fit into this category. I must applaud you for the smooth transitions from one event to the next.

Grammar- I didn't find any spelling, grammar, or punctuation mistakes, so great job!

Characterization- Of course, this is the first chapter of the fanfiction and a reader will not know every last detail about every character who is mentioned. You indirectly portrayed quite a few personality quirks in the first several paragraphs, making your characters both believable and relateable. Although, I would have liked to know a little more about some of the main characters so I can picture them more clearly. This may very well be revealed in the next several chapters, and I apologize if it is. I did like the exchange between the characters at the beginning of the chapter and the scene at breakfast. I couldn't stop laughing after the "Potty" reference.

Overall, I really enjoyed this chapter and you did an excellent job. Keep up the fantastic writing!

9/10

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