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Review:Elphaba and Boyfriends says:
Hello! There are quite a few things that I really like about this chapter! :)

First of all, I like how Elizabeth seems to shift from at-home to at-school modes. "The alarm that woke me was unfamiliar, the bed uncomfortable." I like this contrast to how she woke up at home. I think this contrast is so true, because people do act differently based on the people they're with and the environment they find themselves in.

Her interactions with the Ravenclaws also contrast sharply with Max and the Hufflepuffs -- Max seems to be totally in her element, while she seems wary and stressed.

At first I wasn't completely sold on the Ravenclaws' desire to look perfect. I figured they would care more about grades than looks; but it makes sense in the context of needing to be the best and cleverest at everything. I agree that the Slytherins would be their main competition, because they strike me as being ultra competitive.

I think the writing in this chapter is quite strong overall! However, I did find one instance of repetitive sentences: "They fit me perfectly and had the added bonus of accentuating my body in a way that the teachers could not complain about. The robes fit my body as snugly as robes could and showed of my shape more than the robes tended to normally." I think you could streamline the paragraph by taking out the second sentence.

This section: "The potions that we made tended to bubble and spit, seemingly with the intention to ruin our carefully assembled outfits..." made me chuckle, because I imagine Snape would definitely find it amusing when their hair and clothing were ruined. :)

Elizabeth's apparent disdain for and jealousy of Max has me very curious about their history! I hope some of the history will be revealed in later chapters.

Finally, I really like how you end the chapter with a tie-in to the hierarchy within the houses that Max mentioned in the previous chapter. ""Don't worry about them. It's up to them to figure that out." This also nicely depicts the contrast between both the main characters and their respective houses.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for continuing to review this. It really means a lot.

I went out on a limb a bit with the whole looking perfect thing but I really felt it fitted with the character. She is queen of her world.

Thanks for pointing out that sentence. I do remember thinking whether it was right but I must have posted the chapter before I fixed it.

That made me giggle as well. I felt it was a very Snape thing to do.

It most certainly will. In the next chapter if I remember rightly.

I really wanted these two chapters to further contrast the two girls as well as give more of an insight to the inner workings of their school lives.

I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you so much for the review!!


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