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Review:CambAngst says:
Back again for another chapter!

Boy, do I remember that first ultrasound appointment. You captured the amazing... um, what's the word I'm looking for... I-can't-believe-this-is-really-happening-ness of the experience beautifully. It is such a strange experience to see that tiny, unrecognizable human life for the first time. There's just nothing that can prepare you for it. Stepping back just a bit, I liked the overall story you constructed around the idea of the maternity ward at St. Mungo's. In the books, it's set up as just being a hospital for treating magical injuries, with the implication being, I guess, that non-magical issues and things like delivering a baby either happened at home or in a muggle hospital. That always felt kind of unsatisfying to me.

OK, so seeing Louis get taken down a couple of pegs was really enjoyable. I like this healer character. Feel free to keep abusing Louis as much as you'd like in the story!

I'd be remiss if I didn't point out this paragraph. It needs help:

"Think of it this way; you're whole family don't meet up for dinner every Sunday and it's usually the one's who have jobs and other commitments. Soon you are going to be one of those family members, what with your job and your kid." Lexi smirks at me. "Why can't you handle your family again?"

I think you have a "you're" where you need a "your" and a "don't" where something else should be and the whole first sentence is just really strange and hard to interpret. It sticks out because your writing is usually so clear and easy to read.

The last section added even more realism to this. It's true, you don't always tell everybody right away in case the unthinkable happens. I really, really hope that isn't what you have in store for them because that would be so sad that I don't know whether I could handle it. And the way the tuna smell makes her sick really hit home. My wife got that. The last line was just brilliant!

I'm really enjoying this story. Even thought I've never been in the spot where Al and Lexi are, you have a way of making it all so easy to relate to and so realistic. Bravo!

Author's Response: Hey. Sorry it's taken me so long to respond to you review.

I agree about the hospital. I just didn't understand what was meant to happen when someone was pregnant, which is why I added in that story. I'm glad you like it. As for the ultrasound bit, I'm so glad you think I'm getting it right, because I lack the experience, honestly. I really want to portray this accurately, you know? Make it real. So, thank you. :)

Ah, Louis. He so deserves it. It's weird for me to write Louis this way, but I'm actually enjoying it. :P

I noticed that as soon as I went back, thank you for pointing it out to me and I hope I've fixed it.

I love the last line, too. It made me laugh writing it.

Thank you so much for your lovely reviews!

Sam.


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