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Review:Lily says:
Hello :) I'd like to say that I loved your story! The plot was very different from any others I've read and was most enjoyable.
However, there were a few problems with your grammar. I'm only telling you this to help your writing, don't worry!
Sometimes I wish I could teach everyone good grammar... I have strange dreams.
I'd love for you to look up grammar rules on the colon, the semicolon, and when to capitalise nouns such as 'mother'. It would also be helpful for you to make perspective changes clearer through page breaks - your story is a bit confusing for the first few chapters.
I sound like a teacher XD I'm sorry. If it makes you feel better, I'm 18 and I write poetry.
My point is that I love your writing and only want to help you improve it so you can keep it up!
Thanks for reading :)

Author's Response: Thanks :)

I know I have problems with grammar, my Mum has proof reads all my stories for me now, she proof read Enchantress but started on like chapter three I think.

You won't believe how many times people have tried to explain colons and semicolons to me. It's sort of a mute point. They usually appear from microsoft word auto correct, though I do sometimes put them in myself.

My newer stories have clearer brakes between perspective. As submitting a chapter can take so long, a part of me can't be bothered to go back and make changes on finished stories (I know that's really lazy!).

Don't worry about sounding like a teacher, I like getting constructive criticism because it gives me something to work on. I know I struggle with grammar and that's because I can't process very well.

I'll make sure I work on my grammar for future stories :D

Also, thank you for loving my writing and wanting to help - means a lot.

~Zyii

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