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Review:my_voice_rising (not logged in) says:
Hi there! I'm (finally) here with your requested review from the forums!

I have to say that I'm intrigued by your summary; one because there are no 'ships listed, which means that this story about a female OC could be completely different from others! Your introduction was good; I liked the change in language from something languid and poetic to more contemporary as she gained consciousness. Nice touch!

I also really like that you've written the same scene twice for two different OCs. It contrasts them very well against one another and doesn't get tired the second time around, so nice work!

Bravo! You have given an OC a special gift like being a metaphormagus, and you haven't made it a Mary Sue type quality in any way! I love that you briefly listed the benefits like being able to sneak around the castle, but then made the really interesting point about not being an individual because everyone can always tell what you're thinking. Interesting bit of canon that you've talked about here in a unique way!

I snorted quietly at Max for freaking out about her trunk at the last minute. Every year, huh? Sounds like me. Nice touch. I also love that we don't get to know her real name! Surely it will come in to play later within the story. It keeps the reader interested. Between this and her metamorphmagus backgrounds, your OC is very human.

One thing I am noticing is that you're missing some punctuation in several places, usually at the end of a sentence spoken by a character. An example is "Morning Beth" which should be "Morning Beth." with a period. Or "Morning Beth," said my father, if the sentence continues after the dialogue :)

Poor Liam! What a great character. By revealing this and the horrible traits of their mother (sympathy parties, really!) we already see a good reason why Beth is the way she is--very meticulous and measured, etc. She has to be the adult for all of them, huh?

45r

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review!!! I'm glad you enjoyed it so much. I'm definitely looking forward to exploring the friendships between these two characters. I often find romance if often over done and has too much importance placed on it. Let's be honest, how much true romance takes place in high school? I'm glad you like the way I've introduced the metamorphmagus. I was worried about how that would be percieved. Also I'm glad that you've read so much into Elizabeth. I've always felt like she was a deeper character than she sometimes seems.

Also thanks for pointing out the grammar. My punctuation around speech is always a bit dodgy. I really need to go through and edit this.

Thanks again for your review!! It was really appreciated :D


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