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Review:caoty says:
Hey, it's me with your requested review.

So, I like Ava: she seems a mostly chilled out, happy sort of person, despite Joe and the Thestrals. (That sounds like a rock band...) She's normal. Yay.

In general, your OCs are believable and they fit in well, as does your Dom. I wish you'd have told us which canon character Ava and Sean's mum is, though, because I kind of got a bit distracted by that... "Best friend of the Wotters? Not Luna... Alicia? Katie? But we didn't see much of them... Lavender? Parvati or Padma? Though I don't know if they'd give their kids white names..." etc.

Anyway. Erm. You've also got quite a few missing commas and the like, so you may want to take another look at that.

So... good luck with writing, and I'll see you around! :)

Author's Response: I'm glad you like Ava, that's really nice for me to know that she is a likeable character.

I'm really happy my OCs are believable because that's something I did worry about. Oh sorry, that was a mistake on my behalf I didn't realise that I didn't say Ava's mum was friends with Harry, Hermione and Ron. Thank you for pointing that out!

I tried to fix my punctuation the best I could in my second chapter so hopefully I've managed that to a certain extent. I'll get round to editing this chapter to fix it up soon.

Thank you very much for your review, it was very helpful! I really appreciate that you took the time to read and review :-)


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