Hey, I'm here with your requested review.
So you've got some funny lines in this - Hippogriff poo, LOL - and I quite like your Gwen, she's fun.
That said, I have mostly critique for this. You don't have to take it on board if you don't want to, but this is just what I was thinking while I read this, and I think you have a right to know.
First off, just some technical stuff for you, which will put a lot of people off if it's not fixed:
a) Your formatting is off. You know, you've got your horizontal rule, and then a ridiculously huge space beneath it. What you'll need to do to fix that is to put in your HTML code and your Author's Notes in the Word/Pages/Google Docs document you're writing, and then just paste that as plain text. ^_^
b) Your grammar could do with a bit of work, too. You've got sentences like:
>"Missed you Arwen." Said Gwen as she hugged Arwen.
which should be
>"Missed you Arwen," said Gwen, as she hugged Arwen.
You've also got quite a few missing commas, spaces and letters, as well as a few Americanisms used by your assumedly British characters. Maybe you could try proofreading, or get a beta reader, just to make it easier to read.
I'm also not convinced that James and Freddie, of all people, having been told by Harry about Draco, would treat Scorpius like they do. Could you explain that to me, please?
Also, the time shifts are rather hard to follow - extremely, actually, and I tend to like disjointed things.
Gosh, this was a harsh review, eh? I don't mean to discourage you from writing at all, but hey, no-one's perfect, etc. etc.
Author's Response: I prefer harsh reviews!! =P And I'd rather hear the mistakes. So yeah I thank you for taking the time and pointing them out.
I'll work on the spacing. When I wrote it, it wasn't so weirdly spaced. Sigh! And the punctuation! LOL I will work on that.
What I felt after reading DH was that Harry and Hermione seemed okay with Draco and accepting but I didn't feel that Ron was. I always felt he was anti-Malfoy. The same for some of the Weasley's. Even though Harry might have said his side of story I don't think that some of the Weasley family felt the same. They did have a very old cold war going between the families. I always imagined most of the Weasley kids sitting around Ron Weasley and listening to him criticize Draco and Hermione looking on exasperatedly =P But that's my opinion.
Thanks for the criticism and the review! =P