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Review:manno_malfoy says:
Hello! I'm here with your requested and I dearly apologise for the delay. I also find it necessary to apologise for the confusion regarding story length the previous time; I should've been more diligent.

First of all, I'm happy you've fleshed out Clara this chapter. We saw how she reacted to crisis this time and how she tried to be civil with her tormentors and tried to sort out the dilemma even before her group of friends tagged along. It shows that she has the makings of a strong character and that she truly has a chance at becoming even stronger.

Now, speaking of that group of friends Clara has made. I wish you had told us how long after the previous chapter is that first scene of the chapter or told us of what happened to make Clara earn such loyal friends. I mean, I can guess that James had introduced them to her or vice-versa but what has happened to make them support her so heatedly? To make Fred and Dom go pale at showing Mcgonagall the photo in the paper and so on?

Flow was quite alright. I didn't feel that anything jerked me out of the chapter or anything as such. As for description, I felt that it was better in the second part than the first. And, personally, I believe that including descriptions when opening helps hook the reader because it paces them into the character's thoughts and how they view what is happening around them. But that's just a personal preference. Even if I, too, am guilty of disregarding details and imagery sometimes when I'm writing. :)

I liked the dialogue, and thought that you really brought out your characters through it, especially Dom and Fred. Dialogue has added so much to their characterisation and made each of them special. I also liked the way you've portrayed McGonagall and I didn't feel that she was out of place. I also liked how she seemed to sympathise with Clara and wanted her to stand up to her bullies.

I enjoyed the chapter and I'm very happy you've re-requested. Good luck with the next chapter (is there another?)! :D

-Manno

Author's Response: Hello there! It's okay for the delay, you're doing me a favour, so I don't mind how long it takes. :)

Yes, Clara tried to er... take it head on this time? I tried to incorporate your advice from your last review, I'm glad that it worked. :)

It's about a few weeks after the first chapter so that's why they seemed a bit more friendly-ish/colloquial. I dunno, I just picture all those characters to be very nice and accepting of others, I'll try and fix that soon-ish. Thanks for pointing that out! :D

Description, ugh. I'm horrible at that. I'll have another read of it and add some in. I'll focus on the first half though. :p Thanks for the tips! :D

I'm glad to hear McGonagall wasn't too out of place, I think I took several days on writing her! :p

There's another two chapters, and hopefully you won't mind me re-requesting? :)

Thank you so much for taking the time to review this, all your advice is really appreciated. :D ♥


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