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Review:Voldy Needs a Hug says:
I really enjoyed the original approach you took on this chapter. I can't recall reading a fanfiction that took place in detention, and I have to say, I like the concept.

Plot- This chapter was on the shorter side, but definitely portrayed the fast progression of the plot. Once again, I really enjoyed the setting of this chapter, as it added a creative spark to the fanfiction. The events seemed realistic, even though I was shocked when Sirius pulled out the mirror. That wasn't at all what I was expecting at the time.

Flow- The events flowed pretty smoothly. I liked your transition from Chapter 2 to Chapter 3.

Grammar- Once again, I didn't find any spelling, grammar, or punctuation mistakes.

Characterization- You've really developed James, Sirius, and Penny through the dialogue present in this chapter, but the other characters still seem flat. Readers don't know very much about them because they were initially introduced but haven't appeared for more than a line or two since then.

Description- You did a fantastic job with the description present in this chapter. I especially enjoyed the depiction of the other students sitting in detention.

Dialogue- The dialogue was good throughout the chapter. I was a little confused at times during Sirius and James' exchange via the mirrors. I was a bit lost during their conversation, and found myself rereading the past few paragraphs constantly.

Overall, this was a decent chapter, even though I wasn't fond of the ending. It just seemed too abrupt. Good job!


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