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Review:Voldy Needs a Hug says:
This chapter certainly had an intriguing start, which really compelled me to keep reading. I have to admit, I love this chapter.

Plot- The plot really picked up in this chapter with quite a few fast-paced, exciting moments. The events captivated me from the very beginning of this chapter and held my attention until the very end. I did, however, have two thoughts that popped into my head while I was reading: Why does Penny care so much about winning 10 galleons? And why does Professor Flitwick just hand her a detention for no actual reason?

Flow- This chapter flowed extremely smoothly. Umm... I think that's about it for flow.

Grammar- I didn't pick up on any grammatical errors, so good job.

Characterization- I immensely enjoyed the personalities and attributes of each character that were highlighted in this chapter, particularly those of the Marauders. I loved their reactions to the giant spider (especially James'). They were portrayed fairly accurately, just as they were in the books. I found it a little odd that Penny suddenly decided she would go earn herself a detention, especially if she always abides by the rules.

Description- There wasn't a boatload of pointless descriptions present in this chapter, and they really weren't necessary. You nicely balanced the amount of description versus the amount of dialogue, keeping the story moving and holding readers' attentions.

Dialogue- There was a disappointingly small amount of dialogue in this chapter. I was hoping for a bit more, or possibly even an exchange between Penny and one/all of the Marauders.

Overall, I couldn't find a great deal of fault in this chapter and really enjoyed reading it. My favorite character at the moment is still Remus, even though he did not have a large role in this specific chapter. Great job!

10/10

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