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Review:MargaretLane says:
I actually laughed out loud at Albus falling off the stool.

Like I said in my previous review, I could see your Albus as being a good fit for Hufflepuff. I could also see him in Gryffindor. Not so much the other two, so I don't really think there's any danger of Slytherin. He doesn't come across as devious at all. Plus it's the house he wants least, which in itself sort of shows that he doesn't fit there, because he doesn't value "cuteness", to use a term we say here in Ireland. It means something like deviousness, but without the implication of nastiness.

*laughs* The hat was deciding between the two houses I thought Rose would fit for her. And it considered the two houses I thought would fit Albus for him, even if it only considered Hufflepuff for a moment and seemed to think he fit Slytherin much more than I would have, but then I've only had a quickly glimpse at him so far.

That part about him having a great destiny is rather interesting.

Art is starting to remind me a little of Derek in my story. Just because they are both nervous about entering a completely new world though, which I guess is likely to be true for most Muggleborns and in a way Art seems more like Hermione, because he seems to know a bit about the wizarding world and its history already.

*laughs* A little bit of a coincidence: in the chapter I've just posted, my characters are talking about Muggles fearing ghosts. Weird we both posted chapters mentioning that about the same time (well, within a day or so of each other anyway).

The sentence, '"Well, I'd prefer if I'm known as Sir Nicholas." He replied' shouldn't have a capital "H" on the "he", as it's all one sentence. There should be a comma after the "Nicholas" and then a small "h".

Marc Mysticus is a really amusing name. You are good at coming up with unusual names. For my pureblood characters I've mostly used names from the books since so many pureblood families are related and for the Muggleborn characters, I've tried to find British sounding names. Plus I usually stick in an Irish character or two, so I can use ordinary (to me) surnames. *laughs* Marc Mysticus reminds me of how there's this guy who was constantly on our news a year or two ago called Tom Gilmartin. For some reason, the news kept referring to him as "Mr. Gilmartin" instead of using his full name for some reason and my sister misheard it as "Mystical Martin".

That comment about it just being him and his two sisters made me wonder if he has parents, but I guess he just means that's all the siblings he has. I thought at first his sisters might be adults who were raising him.

Oh, Flitwick is headmaster (I nearly said "principal" *laughs*). I assumed he was deputy headmaster, but it makes sense (and is probably closer to canon, if you count interviews as canon) that he'd be headmaster. I wonder how many of the old teachers you are keeping and who the Transfiguration, Charms and Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers will be. And possibly Potions as well, if you have Slughorn retired (though I still suspect he's a villain in this).

The sentence "a Muggle invention which the Muggles created" is a bit redundant. I'd either leave it as "a Muggle invention" or else say "an invention the Muggles created."

You've also said that videos "don't know your there". It should be "don't know YOU'RE there". When you're is short for "you are", you need the apostrophe to stand in for the missing "a".

Love how Albus wonders if people in Muggle pictures get tired of standing around all the time. It really shows how his understanding of photographs is different from ours.

One other thing. The girls' dormitory should probably have the apostrophe after the "s" because there's more than one girl.

And it's "could've" or "could have", not "could of."

Yeah, for somebody who can't spell, I'm pretty nit-picky about grammar, aren't I?

Love the part about James stealing the Marauder's Map. You really gave us an insight into both James's and Albus's personalities there.

And that's a really good idea about flashing back to the trip to Diagon Alley. I would have liked to include the Diagon Alley trip in my story, but I couldn't think how to do so without going back over what the epilogue had already covered. Looking forward to seeing what you do with it.

I'm really enjoying this story.

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it when Albus fell off the stool. :)

I like that you're thinking about the different houses. He really shows charcteristics from many of the houses, doesn't he?

Thanks for pointing out the grammar. You're not too nit-picky.

Rose suits Ravenclaw and Gryffindor, since I imagine her a lot like Hermione.

Yeah, Art is sort of like Derek. Not exactly the same though!

I think that muggle-borns would be very scared of ghosts at first. I know that I would be terrified if I saw them.

Marc is really an interesting character. He's one of my favorites. He's very mysterious. I have a plan for him if I ever write all of Albus's seven years at Hogwarts, but that seems very far away right now!

I'm not going to tell you whether you are right or wrong when you say that Slughorn is the old wizard in the first chapter. I don't want to ruin anything!

It's very satisfying to know things that everybody else doesn't know.

Marc does have parents, he was just referring to his siblings!

I have a lot of new teachers, since Snape died in the Battle of Hogwarts, many of them retired, and I doubt the Carrows would still be teachers!

Ops. I knew about your and you're, and also there, their, and they're, I just did a silly mistake. I'll fix it!

James is very fun, (he reminds me of his namesake) and Albus is much more serious. He doesn't like to break the rules. (much!) :)

I really wanted to write about Albus's Diagon Alley trip, so I decided to have a flashback.

Thanks for reviewing! :)


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