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Review:StEpH_M says:
This is a really good start, it has me intrigued. Just from this chapter I can tell that anything could happen after this chapter and it really draws you in. The way you left the chapter open for more possibilities is good, and I really like the fact that it's basically like something that could happen in any business or large company only with a magical spin. The way you wrote this makes me what to read on, the fact that you made Percy and Hermione not actually say anything about the illegal goods that may have been on the ship means that my curiosity is pushing me to read the next chapter. Just so that maybe I can find out more.

I really like that this is a Percy story, there isn't much on him and I enjoy the fact that it's a guy in his department that is under questioning for involvement in illegal things. It's not something you would expect Percy to let happen. He always seemed to strict.

I also probably like that unlike most next gen sort of stories, Percy actually gets along with his family, that he isn't so stuck up to communicate in great lengths with people in his family as he may have seemed during his schooling and the first part of his Ministry career.

It's good that you introduced the suspicious character in the first chapter, a lot of mystery stories wait till much later to introduce them and to me it always seems too stretched out and has way to many overly pointless filler chapters. The way you have started it sort of lays everything out for the reader so they can start speculating from the start.

I don't see any problems, it's a really great start to a story and I look forward to reading the other chapters. :)

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