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Review:caoty says:
Hey, I'm here from the common room.

So this is an interesting start... you've got a pretty, clever, cynical child who is experiencing some kind of emotional abuse/abandonment from her parents - despite their great taste in names and T-shirts - and turns out to be a Muggleborn witch.

Your descriptive language and vocabulary are very extensive and very good until we get to the last few lines:
>An evil laugh rang across the room.
>
>"Peeerfect."
Doesn't that sound just a touch cartoonish to you? Maybe I'm just being nitpicky, but it does to me.

You've also got a few misplaced bits of punctuation and some spacing issues you might want to fix up, too.

Anyway, good luck writing. :)

Author's Response: Thanks for pointing out the errors. I had edited this chapter yesterday and now I'm waiting for it to be validated. The ending is a bit different in that, taken care of some of the punctuation and just a bit more descriptive.
Nah it totally okay if you found it cartoonish. :P
Thanks so much for reviewing. Waiting for this chapter to get validated.


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