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Review:hannnahgracr says:
Well starting off with your concerns, you definitely don't use the word 'dark' too much. You managed to make the one shot dark without using the word too often. The metaphors are very good and the imagery you used was fantastic. I think you did a wonderful job in making it weird and mysterious.

I like how it's not the one point of view throughout the whole one shot and it was very helpful that you numbered the sections, made it easier to follow. The third section was my favourite. It was particularly intense and I loved the wonderful simple way you described what was going to happen to each of them.

The absence of capitals and punctuation in 6 was particularly effective, I think it was a really good touch.

It's hard to criticize something you really enjoy which is why I'm having trouble. It is an extremely thought provoking piece and I really really liked it. You definitely did a good job of writing in this unusual style. My only criticism would be that it wasn't long enough ;-)

Well done for a fantastic piece of writing!

Author's Response: Hello!

I'm glad you think so. I was a bit worried about V, 'cause I've used the word 'dark' like four times in half the number of paragraphs and I thought that might've been overkill. I was having tons of fun with imagery and metaphors and so on in this one, too, and I don't usually, so it was a bit scary.

I've always wanted to write one of those numbered one-shots, and so I'm glad it worked for you. And changing up the perspectives was also really fun but I was wondering if it'd turn out a bit like Monty Python, you know, "AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT".
I was wondering whether that third section and that sentence about the Marauders&co. were a bit random too, actually, given that this story is about Regulus and the others' ends haven't come yet, so thank you for that.

I completely desecrated the rules of grammar, and it worked! Yay!

Thank you so much for your lovely review, and I'm really happy that you liked this. :D


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