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Review:MargaretLane says:
I actually laughed out loud at the idea of them being on the dark side of the moon.

I think you could expand a bit here and there. There are parts that seem a bit rushed, like "suddenly everyone started fighting." It might be better if you gave a more detailed description of what happened. Something like "the white witch fired a spell at Lord Voldemort. He ducked and glared at everybody. Who dared attack the Dark Lord at his own meeting? "Avada Ke-", he began, but he was interrupted as Darth Vader's light sabre hit him", etc. Probably not a great example, but it should give the general idea.

The part about the coffee was rather amusing - the way it goes from a major fight to them just arguing about not getting the right coffee.

And typical of Voldemort to kill somebody for bringing the wrong coffee.

Author's Response: Hey Margaret!
You know what? Your example is really good! I think I would edit my story and add more detail. :D So, thanks!
The coffee part was my favorite to write. :)
And it is very typical of voldemort to kill joe because of the coffee mix up.

Thanks so much for this review!
Keep reading!


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