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Review:SnitchSnatcher says:
Hi, it's Molly from the forums, here with your requested review. First let me apologize for the delay. Secondly, in your request you said that this chapter was your primary concern so this is one I'll be addressing, so if anything I say in my review has been covered in the previous chapters, well, I apologize for that too.

Anyway! I will say that this has intrigued me. I'm very curious about this Annabel character - there's something off about her, that's for certain. What it is, I can't quite say, all I know is that it's a little unsettling how completely fascinated she is with Sirius. The Marauders are right to worry after their friend.

Talking of the Marauders, I thought you handle their characterizations pretty well. Some of the traits we know about them were a little over exaggerated - such as Remus being such a big bookworm and James being oh so in love with Lily - but it didn't detract from the chapter. What little we saw of them was nice and their willingness to do whatever they can for their friend was very in character to me.

From what I've seen, there were not many grammatical mistakes. The only one that stuck out to me was this:

...You’re family, and you, Sirius, are so much more interesting.”

Instead of 'you are' it should be 'your'. Other than that small mistake, which was more likely a typo than anything else, I didn't see any glaring mistakes.

Overall, I think you did a really good job with this chapter. And for someone who hasn't read the first two, I feel like I have at the very least a good grasp at the characters and the plot.

Good job!

- Molly

Author's Response: Thanks so much!

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