Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:WitnesstoitAll says:
Jamiii. I'll haveyou know that you are a terrible influence. Terrible. Here I am with 60 pages of study guide that I need to learn *coughmemorizecough* by tomorrow and I log onto the forums just to make sure that I don't have any PM's from new members asking for common room passwords and lo and behold I read your status. and here I am.

GAHHH. I ADORE TONKS/CHARLIE, LIKE TO THE MOON AND BACK. This was a really great opening chapter. I really enjoy the voice you give to Tonks!! The bit about why she thinks Charlie wears jeans is hilarious. I think I'd like to see a little bit more of that spunkiness in the narrative -- it's something that is really unique to the first person narrative and since she does have a great voice, may as well take advantage.

I enjoyed all of the scenes, but the opening bit, the mini prologue of sorts, seemed a tad formal -- there were a lot pretty words and extended metaphors, and don't get me wrong, it was a very good bit of writing, but I almost felt as though it was too pretty or formal (stylistically) for the rest of the fic. Please keep in mind that this is a really minute critique, and just something for you to think about. All in all this was a great first chapter and I cannot wait to read the rest!!

alsdkjfowaiejoijf great work. :)

Author's Response: I was so surprised to see you! I can't even lecture you about being naughty and putting off studying because this review was just too awesome ♥

I think the first few paragraphs might meld better by the end when you see where it's coming from. But because I'm terrible at keeping my own secrets.. think of that as Tonks's final goodbye to Charlie. She's ready to move on with her life, to be with someone who makes her happy and healthy, not the catastrophic kind of happy she and Charlie have.

First person is terrifying to me so far, haha! In the span of a week I've done first and second person stories. I must be going crazy. I'll absolutely try and add a bit more spunk in the next chapter. I'm trying to avoid the... I don't know. There's this personality trait I don't like about her, and I don't know what it is.. But I know I'm trying to avoid it, haha!

I am so happy you liked this first bit ♥ the second one is nearly done. But I'm trying to finish chapter 11 of BTF before I put it in the queue.

Good luck studying, m'dear! And thank you so much for stopping by, this review made my day ♥



Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 908
Submit Report: