Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:my_voice_rising says:
Me again. :)

I'm going to continue to harp on you about getting a Beta reader--now you listen to me, missy! ;) There are some grammar mistakes, and I won't point them all out, but the first one is that "The way things are are bollocks" should be "The way things are is bollocks," because the subject is the "way" (singular), not the "things" (plural.)

I like the insight into the Slytherin table, something I (personally) rarely get to see in fanfiction. I also like that Draco isn't the spoiled, snobbish "leader of the pack" like we see from Harry's POV in canon. It's much more realistic this way, with his friends telling him to drop it, etc.

Maybe you want to split up Pansy's introduction with the paragraph about Tary freezing in her seat. Because we had the entire dialogue to read without explaining that it was an interjection from a third, unknown person, the reader logically assumes it is Tamara responding and that can be a little confusing.

I do like that Draco didn't stand up for Tamara, though, but watched her. It shows that he has interest in his friend but is still Draco-esque enough to not come to her rescue. However I thought him being comforting was a little OOC; maybe if he was more embarrassed and indignant to be calling down at her to come downstairs? Also who is this "they" that Draco is talking about? I thought Pansy was the only one making fun of Tary.

Although I'm very interested to see why she's "mentally unbalanced!"

Author's Response: Hi Sarah, thanks again for the review! Gah, I feel like I just had a finger waggled at me in a teacher-like way haha, took me right back to school. Was terrifying! I'll get right on that!

Thanks for the tip about the Pansy introduction, makes sense to me. Will have to revise it soon :) And I'm not going to give away Tary's secret just yet, you'll have to keep reading to find out, hehe! :) Thanks for the review, much appreciated and again, thanks for the tips! Hope you enjoy the next chapter! Bobby xx

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 244
Submit Report: