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Review:SereneChaos says:
Another breathtaking chapter! I like the way you experimented with the spacing of the text during Fred's death, and the use of parentheses at the beginning of the chapter. They work very well with getting your point across. My only warning would be not to overuse them (which might be tempting later, though I think you used them in just the right amounts here.)

And I loved your last line.

I'll look forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you once again for another lovely review!!

And yes! Parentheses! They are currently my obssession...and if I had my way I'd insert one in every sentence...but I don't think it would make easy reading =)

The point of parentheses in this story is to break up the narrative and sort of give a sense of disruption to the text. And to include other voices / asides. I would like the "brokenness" of the writing and the narrative to reflect on the "broken-ness" of the characters...OK, I might be getting a little melodramatic / corny here.

Whenever I find a parenthesised section in anyone's story it always intrigues me.

HOwever I'll take your advice and definitely not overuse them!

Thanks again!


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