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Review:manno_malfoy says:
Hey Jami! I don't think I've ever read a story about Fleur before and I think this has to do with how I don't really know much about her. And you made a very strong and brave character out of her, and that shows the side of Fleur that the Goblet has chosen years ago.

The narration was rather haunting -more of your beautiful dark writing! I have a speculation as to why second person was rather a suitable perspective to use here. I suppose that in a war you don't really feel like yourself. And it shows in the contrast between the part in the beginning where she can't feel any remorse for the person she killed and in the end where she returns to her normal self and collapses into Bill's arms, crying. Throughout the story, she wasn't /really/ herself, or was rather detached from her true self. And that made her a 'you' rather than an 'I'. I may be wrong, and probably am, but I can justify its use.

I also think you've used it skillfully and that it didn't feel overbearing at any point. In fact, it helped add to how action-packed this story is. Personally, I believe that, for some reason, writing in second person allows the author to write descriptions better than does any other perspective. I'm not sure why, but yeah...

Speaking of action-packed, you described all the movements wonderfully. Everything went smoothly and it truly felt like a movie with people moving and glares being exchanged, Fleur moving swiftly enough to send a spell at Greyback and defeat him.

Honestly, when I first saw the pair you received in the thread, I was curious as to how you're going to work your way around them. But I must admit that you've done an absolutely wonderful job and you kept everything canon.

You've done an absolutely marvellous job, not that it's a surprise, and good luck with the challenge.

-Manno

Author's Response: Oh my goshhh you are doing it again! I'm going to turn into mushhh!

I love your speculation for second person! I wish I could say that I totally thought of that and that's the exact reason.. but honestly, I tried first person and third with these. And they just sucked. It felt too generic, too 'drama after battle' style. When I write poetry it's always in second person, so I figured I'd decide to do that with this and it just clicked. But let's pretend that I absolutely thought of what you said, and that was my motive behind it in the first place ;).

Thank you again for this awesome review ♥ you always turn me into piles of feels.

♥ ♥


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