Hi, there! I thought it was such a nice gesture to volunteer to review people's stories today that I wanted to return the favor. And just so this doesn't sound like a completely selfless act of nobility, I need to finally get my reviews written up over 500, too. I had a bit of a setback last week when an old friend who's left the site decided to delete all of her stories, but when the going gets tough, the tough get going!
OK, I'm going to read between the lines and try to piece together all of the unspoken things in this story. It helps me put it all in perspective and hopefully it will help you to know whether you got across the baseline plot info you were probably going for. Alexa would be the daughter of Theodore Nott and Daphne Greengrass, based on her last name and the comment you made about her grandparents. Also the comment about Draco being her uncle. Her father apparently renounced his father's Death Eater ways at some point and took a position with the Ministry. Did I get it all right?
I like the way you set up Alexa's character. The anxiety about having to grow up and face the real world is a very natural thing, especially for children of privilege. It's easy to relate to and helps me get some insight into the character right away. Her thoughts about being daddy's angel and being close to her brother also help to fill in parts of the picture.
I'm going to stop and applaud you for the choice to introduce some very positive-sounding characters in a stable, loving same-sex relationship right up front. It's not really a common thing to find in HPFF. Usually slash pairings are the main pairing, and the relationship is filled with mountains of drama and angst. The idea of Dominique being a male character isn't 100% in contradiction of canon, although the gender of the French name is pretty well established (as opposed to Dominic). At any rate, I'm excited to see what you do with this. HPFF needs more positive portrayals of same-sex couples.
Wow. It sounds like Albus and Alexa sure do drink a lot. I mean a whole lot. If there was one thing in the whole story I would have to nit-pick you on, it's that. The idea that a self-professed, 17-year-old non-drinker could put away the amount that you're describing and be able to walk out of any place under her own power is a bit tough to embrace. It's obviously not the central point of the story, just something I think would add to the realism.
I like your characterization of Albus as the brooding, overly emotional middle child. Sounds like he has a pretty good dose of his dad in him, albeit the focus of his disaffection is different. He also has some apparent issues with girls, which seems to go with the green eyes. ;)
I'm eager to see where you take this. It was a good start to your story. I definitely want to know what happens next between Albus and Alexa -- or whether they even remember what happens next. Well done!
Author's Response: Hello. Thank you. I'm glad I did, I read some really great stories today. Yeah, I remember reading a status that said you were almost at 500, and then another that said stories had been deleted. A shame when that happens.
Yes, Alexa and her brother Kieron are Theo Nott and Daphne Greengrass' children. Theo went against his father during the war and became a Hit Wizard. You got it right. :)
Yeah, I both read and write a lot of slash here, and I've noticed that. I try to not do that, I keep some drama, but I mainly write humor/romance or horror/dark. As for Dominique being male, I was on the HP Lexicon and it said 'could be a boy or a girl' so I decided to be different for my Dom/Lorcan story. But I rather liked the idea of Dom being male and sort of kept it. :P
They drank quite a bit, but it was in Alexa's POV and she rarely drinks, so I was kind of going for exaggeration, because she has no idea what a lot is for her. Obviously, they were okay to walk. But I understand what you're saying. There will actually be a point in the story where Al points that out. :P
I'm glad you like the main characters. I hope you'll continue to when you find out more about them from each other's points of view.
Thank you so much for the review. I was pleasantly surprised. :D