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Review:caoty says:
'course I'm alright with reading the words of newbies, especially when they come out with stuff as good as this.

So there was me thinking that after With All Things and the countless abandoned fics in which George returns to the shop but can't deal with his grief so an angelic OC must save him, et cetera et cetera, there was not a lot you could really do with George in the immediate aftermath of Fred's death. I was proven wrong. I haven't really read much - or any - fic in George's perspective set in the latter half of the battle, so you need not worry about unoriginality.

(And you can tell from ^that paragraph that I am the absolute wrong person to ask about weird sentence structure.)

Your use of language here is gorgeous, especially your descriptions of the physicality (I'm probably not using that word properly but you know what I mean) of Fred's death and his corpse. It's something that many writers, fic or otherwise, don't explore, and you've really shown us how the death would have looked - it wasn't just sad, it was pretty damn violent and sickening. It's lovely, actually, in a way that probably only I could call it so.

The whole thing with George momentarily becoming Fred could have gone wrong in so many different ways, but you've handled it beautifully and it's wonderful and I'm jealous of you now because I've always wanted to write something like that but I've never had the chance. God that was a long sentence. Anyway. This is the line that stood out to me the most:
>(Fred is dead and I am George. George is gone and I am Fred. Forge George. Dead Fred.)

You've taken a joke about the Weasley twins's identicalness way too far and it still works. It's extremely poignant. It's a bit creepy. I love it.

I've got a bit of critique for you, maybe something you won't agree with me on, but maybe consider it anyway - George's voice. Your George's first-person narration is a tad bit more eloquent than George in canon IIRC - and while the descriptive language is lovely and I wouldn't want you to change, maybe change it to third (or even second) person, so you can have your properly-characterised George and your eloquent narration. Maybe. I don't know. You don't have to take me up on that if you don't want to.

Anyway. I hope this review wasn't entirely useless, good luck with writing this, and you might find me popping in to see how this fic turns out, because I'm very much intrigued. :)

Author's Response: Thank you for your review! I'm blown away by the length and detail of it, and your very valuable opinion! (Your review was nowhere near useless!) This just made my day. Or night, in this part of the world where I'm at. I'm so glad you like the story =)))

I understand what you mean about George's voice, and how it differs from the canon (not sure what IIRC means...). I thought the Weasley twins were always a witty eloquent pair in the novels?? I mean we don't really see their thoughts and all because they're minor characters. I've always thought that there's a lot missing from the characters of Fred and George in the books. I mean readers only always see their joking, playful selves and not a lot else. Even after Fred's death scene, Rowling goes on to describe Percy and Ron's reactions but not George's. George isn't even mentioned any further in the series (OK, there was a bit about him dueling Yaxley but that's all) and I found this really upsetting because of course he would've been the worst affected.

So I'm adding a lot of detail (some of it descriptive observations) to George's POV with the hope of fleshing his character out more but without being too OOC.hope I can manage that...

And George's POV isn't the only viewpoint in the story. Dead Fred speaks as well. And sometimes I'll be switching to third person...at least I plan to, anyway! I like switching around =) and I'll try not to make it too confusing.

Thanks so so much once again for your wonderful review! It means a lot to me =)



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