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Review:Asdfghjkl says:
Erm, your idea is good, but the writing was a turn off for me. I'm not flaming and I'm not trying to be rude, but I clicked this story, started reading it, and figured I had better leave a review because barely anyone does. Anyway, I had no other comment other than from what I can make of your plot thus far and why I'm not continuing on.

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