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Review:peppersweet says:
i am trying to read this and paint my nails black at the same time, the colour seems fitting but the act of nail-painting does not. so sorry if this review is a bit incoherent, the pads of my fingertips are skiting all over the keys as i try not to get nail polish on my laptop.

ooft - that first paragraph - OOFT.

great line: 'The world, Mum told me once, with the ironic smile so common to our family, does not sleep when we sleep, does not stop when we stop.

ooh. suspicious things happening. suspicion. I am bad at painting nails and also bad at finding the deeper meaning in fic, but I thoroughly enjoy reading this.

I love the occasional, jarring dips into humour, like - As I take a moment to add "Dumbelina" to my mental cache of nicknames for Albus - it really emphasises Rose's mental state. not the most eloquent way of putting it, there, but. it seems really odd whenever you bring humour in - not odd as in it detracts from the flow and does something bad for the story, no. odd because it does detract from the flow and for good reason. it feels like pauses, moments where we can step back and think about Rose and what she wants. idk - just my take on it :L

even though I think I knew before that Hermione and Hugo were dead, I think this line was the 'stomach-punch' line: 'The newspaper articles all reading: investigation ongoing, and how these have not changed, not once, in a year.' - I don't know why it's that one particularly.

so I'm really interested to find out what went on there - and what exactly has been written about Rose in the tabloids, hmm.

wait wait wait

Rose witnessed Hermione and Hugo's death. okay. okay. this is totally NOT making me feel tense and edgy.

and scorpius can sort of see thestrals too, right?

like the juxtaposition of angst and humour, I love the contrast of powerful, eloquent prose and the totally mundane in Rose's narration, like how here letter (or is it just a thought?) to scorpius ends thus: 'Id just like to sit with you again. Im sorry for what you saw and what it meant. Id just like to watch you laugh.'

aah. this fic is so good. sjaskjshkajshdbvfdj.

scorpius seems kind of...adorably unknowing and sweet, and it's kind of sad to know that their relationship was a political one. I'd kind of like to know a lot more about him, but it actually makes the story a lot more tense that I really don't know about him so yeah. but you know how I feel about scorpii.

it also broke my heart a little when scorpius said 'at least your parents did good things in the war' - that line really got to me! he seems like a good kid, having to live a life other people have set out for him and caught up in all of this drama and things - I don't know enough about him to judge whether he is 'good' or 'bad' but right now he just seems so sweet and I feel so sorry for him (more than I do for Rose, you know)

wailing because WEE SCORPIUS 'that you tried to live outside of your father's footsteps so vehemently that you'd begged the Sorting Hat to keep you out of Slytherin or youd die of shame'. omg. omggg.

i know you're using concealment of information and holding things back as a brilliant technique to create tension and such but DEAR GOD I JUST WANT TO KNOW

oh oh oh IT'S SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE MEMORIAL RIGHT

ermahgerd this is so tense UPDATE SOON PLEASE

in other news...there is black nail varnish everywhere.



Author's Response: In light of your critical analysis of my presentation of the grotesquely comic in an earlier review, I think painting your nails is perfectly suitable to the tone and content of this chapter, too. The colour is obviously also in line with all the darkness is Rose's soul.

The thing about this fic is that I've been really hypercritical of the individual lines but now, reading it over again because I've forgotten what information I've already divulged and what things are still mysteries, none of them really say much that works towards a functioning whole. This is a huge problem in my writing and this fic sort of eggs it on and I'm not even that mad. I AIN'T EVEN MAD, U HEAR ME WORLD. So I'm really glad--all this to say, I mean--that you can pick out lines that work on their own. Sometimes I wonder if that isn't the only thing working here, individual lines, which is a bit frustrating because i do have a plan and a plot that I'm trying to unravel. I guess it's my first time doing this sort of thing so I'm clumsy at it, still.

Rose's humour as odd sort of fits with her and my understanding of her. I was thinking about this today, watching the X Files--why does fiction necessarily have to make more sense than real life? Why does everything have to tie together so neatly and why is it that when it doesn't we aren't satisfied with a story, no matter how much it touched us in smaller moments? And I wonder if my subconscious didn't get to this frame of mind ages ago and that's what I've been working towards this whole time. I think Rose's humor sort of surfacing out of nowhere might be my stabs at this idea. Whether that's acceptable or not, I leave up to you, royal readers...

I mean for Scorpius to be pretty dumb; not because I want to emphasize his lack of smarts but mostly because it's an easy way to explain Rose's attraction to him. In a way, while there is decent sexual tension between them, I've often felt that Rose feels some sort of nurturing spiritual connection with relation to Scorpius and that's part of why she can't let him go; nothing else about her is particularly kind or good, but she feels in this one area that she was somehow making up for other faults. If ya hear me.

UM THE MEMORIAL IS JUST A MEMORIAL JULIA.

Sorry I failed at updating.I hope your heart still applies ♥


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