Hey Jami! Here with another requested review, and finally caught up (though not for long, I suspect)!
I really like Lily's dream. It's so sad to see Petunia turn on her at the drop of a hat, but when they actually get along as sisters, it's downright heartwarming. I love the little scene with them and their mother, too--so sad to think that she's dead! I definitely felt the holiday spirit reading it, and I thought including the prayer was a nice touch. You also revealed a lot of Lily's characterization in subtle ways; she's concerned with the rules, but she's also morally just, as seen with the cat. And I liked the transition--a dream tinged with such strong emotions would probably end suddenly.
I can see why the Prefect meeting scene might have been tough. I like how you described Lily's slight hesitation about letting the non-Prefects stay, and I think you might have added a little more from the other Houses' Prefects--wouldn't you expect at least one of them to object to the breach of privacy? This could be my own bias, but I would have liked to see a little more of a reaction specifically from the Slytherin Prefect, too. Even now, there must have been at least some commotion within the House about Voldemort. Otherwise, I think that scene was done nicely, especially with Frank's bleak recollection.
I love your Moody! I think you've got him down to a T, and his section provided some much needed humor, as dark as it is. I liked his comment about looking around and wondering who will become who, because that seems so very in character. I'm guessing he saw the fight in Alice and Frank and tried to recruit them to become Aurors, in which case I can understand Alice's excitement. I can also understand James's hesitation. I like how you made him a little reticent about joining the Aurors, whereas Sirius is all for it--again, both of those reactions seem totally in character. You really seem to know your Marauders! :) I bet that Lily will be a big part of helping James resolve that feeling.
Oh, and descriptions! I think you did fine. I didn't notice anything that felt too heavy or out of place. It all seemed to accent the plot nicely as I read.
Excellent work, as always! Hope this is helpful! :)
Author's Response: Hi darling!! First of all, congratulations on most romantic for Diamonds into Coal!! I was so exited when I saw that on TGS ♥
Now, to the response. I am so happy you liked the dream. Giving Lily and Petunia these 'sisterly' moments is getting a bit more sad for me because it gets us closer to the disintegration of their relationship. I really wanted to drop hints about both girls in this. Lily caring about the cat, and Petunia not being bothered by the fact that throwing a snowball at it could scare it, because the cat isn't *supposed* to be in their yard anyway. So she's starting to show a bit of her more cold side when it comes to things that shouldn't be doing something certain, like a baby nephew that shouldn't have magic ;).
Honestly I can't even believe that I didn't add one person protesting to the additions to their meeting. Haha. Now that I read back through it, I'm going -- 'really, none of you care that there are are six other people in the meeting that don't belong?' haha I'll absolutely edit that, and of course credit you for the help ♥
I am so happy Moody felt right! His character was kind of intimidating for me, but after I was in the middle of it, it did become pretty fun. Mainly because I feel like he can say anything, or everything that others are thinking but won't say. The Order is all pretty prominent in the next chapter, so I'm super nervous about that.
Thank you so much for this review. I'll work on editing that prefect scene today, and hugs again for your Golden Snitch awards!!! ♥