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Review:True Author says:
Hello! I'm True Author with your requested review! =]

I must tell you that Remus is one of my favorite characters from HP series and I love to read about him! So, I read this with interest. ;) so basically, I'm glad you're writing about Remus's life in detail. I personally think that writing Lupin in the first person is quite difficult, but you're handling it very nicely in the first chapter, so it's actually impressive.

One thing that could use work is dialogue. I think you're not very good in that field, so you could go to the "Grammar Guidelines" in the forums and check out the topic "Everything you would ever know about grammar". I used to be very poor while writing the dialogue and that topic really helped me. So just go through it. :) Otherwise, you can add something like 'he whispered', 'he stammered' or 'he said while he was running' after you complete the double inverted comma. That brings clarity to a story.

I also loved the way you created the horror and fear by writing in italics about "the wolf". ;) that was really a nice idea, haha!

Anyways, I hope this wasn't harsh.. =]

Author's Response: Remus is my favorite adult character! I honestly wish I had started earlier in his life...sort of like starting from the moment he became a werewolf, his first transformation, his lonely life...hmm...perhaps a short story collection is in order.

Yeah, grammar in this chapter needs some work. I'm thinking of asking my beta to just re-read it once more time (after me going through it several times).

Carrie Vaughn's books are the inspiration behind Wolf's part. Whenever Kitty transforms into a werewolf, Vaughn writes in italics to help the reader see that we're not seeing it through the werewolf's eyes.

Haha, and don't worry. You're not harsh at all! :D

Thank you so much for stopping by to review!


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