Hello! I'm so sorry it's taken me forever and a day to get round to reviewing this. My summer was the weirdest ever, but now I'm at uni I've got way too much free time :P
I was so absolutely absorbed by this whole chapter. I was just reading and reading and reading, and reaching the end actually surprised me haha! I really, really enjoyed this. You've brought in a lot of new elements and challenges that Lucius has to face, and as a character he is growing into someone that I really like. He does have so much responsibility, and holding the family up when he doesn't quite feel as though he should be must be so difficult. A lot of the tension is really expressed through your writing, too, which, by the way, is as mesmerising as ever. The overall sense of this third chapter was one of weariness and pressure but at the same time I got the impression that there's got to be a moment where Lucius breaks out of this. The anticipation is heightened!
I can't remember which parts I've touched on in previous reviews, but I'm going to say this just in case I haven't already: your writing is gorgeous! There's a simplicity to it that isn't overbearing, and you set the scenes in a really lovely way. I like the switching of scenes too, because it gives things a quirky disjointed sense that compliments Lucius' feelings. The way you described Siobhan and Lucius too was really effective - there were elements of sexual tension and a little bit of longing but you snipped that back with Siobhans somewhat dominating character and her need to know exactly how he is - like a true friend would ask. At the same time there was a gentleness about their moment together as well. The two of them are really interesting, and I'm beginning to wonder how this slots in with Narcissa, too.
Ooh, something else I really enjoyed was the way you flipped back to Siobhan and Lucius meeting. It was really lovely to take a break from the present for a moment. Rather than telling us how they met you showed us how they met, which is always one thousand times more effective and encapsulating than paraphrasing! The way they talk to one another is perfect - short, snippy, but carefully. I basically think this review is a Siobhan appreciation rant, haha! But no, she's an awesome character to bring in at this point.
I'm really looking forward to seeing where you take this! I'm still quite not over the fact that Lucius is the good guy in this - it's such a fantastic perspective to take. Loved this chapter :)
Author's Response: Hi Laura,
I'm so sorry I took so long to respond to this. I've had a hard time thinking of what to say.
I'm trying to put a lot of things in perspective for him. It's been a while since his father passed and he is still trying to learn new things about what his title entails. At the same time, his natural development is stifled. I agree with you. He still feels as if he's way too young for this. There are too many things happening all at once for him. His mother's pressuring about finding a wife, his relationship with Siobhan, his family, his father's influence, and what he ultimately wants. I loved writing the scene with his mother the most. She's a bit inconsistent with what she wants. She preaches, but apparently does not practice, and all of it has made her grow resentful. Maybe all of them might get a moment where they can break away.
I'm glad you think so, thank you. Siobhan and Lucius. Hmm. Before I refused to see him with anyone but Narcissa, but these things are never set in stone (in the fandom). She can be a bit bossy, but there's this quietness about her that I like, sometimes Lucius doesn't have to say anything at all because she would just /know/. I loved the kiss on the inside of the wrist. It's soâ¦old fashioned and hot at the same time. All I have to do is make Lucius wear a cravat then have him loosen it. The more I think about how this story will progress, the more I appreciate the fact that she is a true Ravenclaw. Narcissa will shineâ¦at least I hope she does.
Hahaha. I like the sound of that - a Siobhan appreciation rant/review/post! (she would too). She happened to catch him at an interesting time in his life, I think. It was the point where he needed someone other than his family.
Well, every bad guy has to have a beginning. This is my version of his :)
Thanks for reading!