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Review:javct says:
javct45 here with your requested review (oh, also review swap! - may as well hit two birds with one stone aye?)


What you did good? YOU MENTIONED MOJO JO JO, OH MY GOSH HE WAS THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN WHEN I WAS A CHILD! MOJO JO JO WAS LIKE DARTH-VADER AND VOLDEMORT MIXED INTO ONE (even though he didn't do anything that evil now, looking back at it :P)

Anyway, I like the mix of the villains. You kept them all within well-known fandoms (Cause, let's face it; who didn't watch the Powerpuff Girls as a child?).

Things you may want to work on: there were quite a few spelling errors (nothing a quick once over won't fix) and missed spaces (example: "WHAT?"Voldemort said - you missed a space between the quotation mark and the next word) and there were /a lot/ of unnecessary capital letters; honestly, there are too many capital letters in this story.

One more thing (last one I promise), just a small grammatical mistake that I picked up on. After a exposition (!?) you don't use a capital letter. Don't worry, I used to do the same thing until a kind reviewer pointed out my mistake and I didn't believe them until I looked over my Harry Potter books and noticed it. So for example this:

"And This ISN'T THE MOCHA I WANTED!!" Cried Darth Vader.

Would be this:

"And (this) ISN'T THE MOCHA I WANTED!!" (cried) Darth Vader.

This story is defiantly a good parody but I would suggest giving it a once-over just to fix up the mistakes; might I even suggest getting yourself (if you haven't got one already) a beta? Being one (or a failed one) myself and having a beta I can vouch for their helpfulness to pick up the mistakes that we, as authors, tend to not-notice. There are many beta's on the site that would be willing to help you; they're all lovely people and are just amazing a beta-ering.

Jasmine, x

Author's Response: Wow, a long one!
First off, thanks soo much for this awesome review!
I loved the powerpuff girls. My sister still watches it, and I thought mojo jo jo was the best villain there. Him freaks me out. He is a weird half boy half girl lobster dude. Freaky!

I have a problem with capital letters. I am better with them now, but I just didn't get a chance to edit this story. :P I will soon though!

Thanks!
~Phoenix


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