I'll tell you what, though - if it was Edie, Dean, and Seamus slurring incoherently in a loud room for the entirety of the story, I'd love it all the same.
However before I get into full on review mode, I must apologize for the delay in getting this review to you. Usually I'm much quicker than this, but RL has slowed me down.
Anyway! Back to the story!
Edie is such a delightful OC. In a sea of quirk, clumsy, Manic Pixie girls, she really stands out. Yeah, she marches to the beat of her own drum, but it's a believable tune that's beating, not something that's over the top and, quite frankly, ridiculous. You did an amazing job with her characterization - I'm already tripping over my tongue trying to write this review because I like her that much already. I think the thing I love most about her, though, is how easy it is to relate to her. Being stuck in a dead-end job where you're under-appreciated and not really knowing what direction your life is going to take speaks volumes to me. It helps that Edie's voice rings strong and true thanks to your brilliant writing. I feel like I know her so well already and it's only the first chapter. I can't wait to see more of her.
As for your other characterizations, I think they're brilliant. Dean and Seamus are such great minor characters and I really love when they're pulled into the center of the picture rather than shuffled to the back. There's so much unexplored potential there and I really think you hit the nail on the head with their individual characterizations, especially Seamus. I could hear him in my head as he gave his little toast, slurred Irish lilt and all. And Dean! Well, I always liked him in the books, but in this? I know he hasn't really played too big a part yet but I can tell you right now that I'll probably become his biggest fangirl. So just a warning to you, haha. Even though we didn't see her at all, I felt your characterization of Lisa was very good. Despite her not being physically present in this chapter, I have a good feel of what her relationship with Edie is and how she acts in general, which is a very hard thing to accomplish.
I think your other concern was an overload of information, which I don't think you need to be worried about. Was there a lot of information provided? Yes, there was, but you wrote it in a way that we were given it in small doses rather than all at once. Basically, it didn't feel like I was being force to swallow and digest this huge pill of information. Instead, it was very natural, organic almost.
I really can't think of anything else to say aside from stellar job! I'm already in love with the characters you've both created and fleshed out, and I honestly can't wait to see what you do with them.
Beyond fantastic job!
Author's Response: Wow! Thank you for such an in-depth review. I am trying not to squeal right now ;) And don't apologize for real life situations getting in the way, it happens to the best of us.
It's funny--you're actually the second person to say that about reading a story comprised entirely of them being drunk. Hehe. That's actually really refreshing because I wasn't sure how people would take it.
I'm so glad you like Edie!!! I was inspired to write this story because I felt like so many OCs are so unrealistic because their life-situations are perfect, even in minute ways like being wealthy or really beautiful. I wanted an OC who is going through the same struggles as I, but has a core group of friends that keep each other going.
I really hope you fangirl over Dean! He is definitely a canon character that needs some more love. And I have a really soft spot for Lisa. I'm excited for her to appear more in the later chapters. :)
I really appreciate you taking the time to read my story, and especially to leave such an amazing response. You're amazing, Molly!