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Review:True Author says:
Hello! I'm True Author with your requested review! =]

This is something I was looking for a long time! I mean, I always wondered how Neville and Hannah became so close to each other, while they didn't even talk to each other in the early books of the series and I really hope you'll explain everything in this! So basically, you have an interesting plot.

The characterization of Hannah was lovely. She was never explained much in the books, so it must have been very challenging to show Hannah Abbott as the central character and I must say you're doing it nicely. Neville's perfectly written, just the way he was when he was eleven.

Still, you have to work on some places, for example- Neville's Grandma's characterization. This story just says that this grandmother of his, is strict and how she keeps saying he could have been a squib, but I think you should write how much she loved her grandson. A scene with Gran talking to Neville kindly before he leaves for Hogwarts, could do.

The level of detail is a little over flowing. ;) Instead of writing paragraphs about their surroundings, you should concentrate on feelings and reactions of the characters from your story. That will make this better.

Otherwise, everything's great. =]

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

I have really loved exploring the relationship between Neville and Hannah because it is so clearly not expressed in the books. I love looking for little details about their lives and building on those to create their personalities/interactions. I am extremely excited to continue with this plot!

Thank you for the compliment on my characterization! I have whole notebooks with every little detail of my characters' lives so characterization is obviously very important to me.

Thank you for your constructive criticism, as well! I actually love Neville's grandmother and I have a few ideas for how to show her loving side later in the story. I will definitely be conscientious of her coming off as too harsh, though.

I also tend to write very long-winded/detailed paragraphs because it's hard for me to let go of phrases and ideas that I love, but I'll work on it! I also agree that I should focus more on the feelings and reactions of characters so hopefully I can explore that in future chapters!

Thank you again! Reading reviews always makes my day :)


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