Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:VickyAlice139 says:
Was rather shocked to find another chapter of this story up. I was in two minds about reading it as this story hasn't really hooked me in like the one before it.

Personally I find Aldan rather annoying. He just rubs me the wrong way. But the whole twist with Will makes me a bit more interested to keep reading to find out what happens.

I find it rather hard to imagine Anna as a parent. The same with Sirius. The balance between being themselves and parents is a very fine line. Anna seems to be on the themselves side and Sirius on the parent side. I think the balance needs to be tweeked a bit. For instance I can't imagine Sirius coming back to Hogwarts to try and fix a prank. I imagine him sending a very witty response to Dumbledore about how he would hate to ruin the pranksters fun. Remus on the other hand I can see coming in. But only to test his brains against the prankster.

That said you are a good writer and I would be interested in reading more. Sorry if you think I'm being mean I'm just telling you my thoughts.


Author's Response: I'm sure it doesn't help to suck my readers in, how slow I am in between chapters. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) my life is much more busy and full than it was when I was writing in high school so I don't get to writing and posting as quickly as I once did.

First of, let me say I always appreciate constructive criticism from my readers! Sometimes I get so comfortable with a character, and they are so developed in my head, that I fail to convey them properly in writing.

Yeah . . . Al is a bit obnoxious, isn't he? He does have a softer side to him. Deep down. Deep, deep down. haha

As far as Sirius and Anna as parents go, it's a hard thing to write sometimes. Personally, I see them as, perhaps, not the best parents. Their kids came at a time in their lives when they weren't ready to grow up, they decided to live with their consequences and I think it affected their parenting styles very much. Anna - a relatively selfish character - has had more trouble adjusting (though she has, somewhat) to her parental role, while Sirius (who has always been one to throw himself in front of a bus for others, and has a huge capacity to love) has stepped up and matured, perhaps more than he would have if he had been partenered with someone who shouldered a bit more of the burden of parenting.

That said, in the next couple chapters I plan on having one from Sirius' p.o.v. and hopefully I'll be able to show all of y'all that he's still the same old Sirius, just a little more grown up.

Anyway, I certainly hope that you will continue to read and definitely let me know what you think of the subsequent chapters: my portrayal of Sirius, the way Will handles his new relationship, and how you think Al is developing as a character and as a person!

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 512
Submit Report: