Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Calypso says:
Hey there! I'm happy to be back again!

I loved this chapter! Reading it made me realise how briefly this event is actually mentioned in the books- I'd never thought so much before about the danger for Remus, and the way everybody would react afterwards.
As it was, the way you wrote the scene where Remus nearly attacks Snape was incredible- really dramatic and the danger which he poses to others really hit me in this chapter.

His description of Snape threatening his pack member and his territory was very Wolf-ish and James and Snape's argument was great- I felt you really captured the animosity between them. (They also reminded me a little of Harry and Malfoy.)

Sirius' reckless side came through very strongly- as I've already said, the actual danger to Snape really hits home in this chapter, as well as the danger which Lupin would have been in had he attacked him. In the aftermath, all four boys' reactions seem completely realistic. I thought that part was very well done as there are lots of dynamics going on there! You said in your last response, that you find Peter hard to sympathise with, but it really doesn't come across in your writing and I've been impressed by how well you characterise him!

And he told Lily! I did love the scene between them. Lily was wonderful- kind, and clever, a little bit fierce and yeah- wonderful. I liked hearing a little bit about Remus' past as well- how he was bitten, and his feelings about the Shrieking/Raggedy Shack.

I did notice a few Americanisms in this- like being "mad at" each other, and I think I saw a "gotten" somewhere. Don't know if that bothers you but I thought I'd mention it. The only other thing I could criticise is the beginning of Remus and Lily's conversation- it wasn't quite as flowing at the rest of the piece and felt a little bit unnatural.

But nevertheless another brilliant chapter! This is such an original story and I never fail to be impressed with the way you write Wolf. I'm happy to see a new chapter posted too! :)

-Bethany

Author's Response: Yay! You're back! :D Bah! So sorry for the super late review response! :( But I'm here!!

You're right, the whole prank incident was only mentioned briefly on the 3rd book and the 5th book where Remus explains a bit more what happened. I wanted to expand a little bit on it so I'm glad that you liked it and made you realize how really dangerous Remus the Werewolf is.

The whole James/Snape scene was fun to write. I just figured that this is when Snape sort of cracks and says "enough!!" and totally lashes out at James with anything and everything. The anger that Snape feels and resentment is something I want to explore a bit more...specially now that I have a plot bunny jumping around in my head...

Territory is something I like to point out when it comes to Wolf. He's an animal that, when feeling threatened, he'll lash out. And smelling something 'evil' coming towards him really made Wolf nervous and wanted nothing more than to protect what belongs to him. Things would've been very, VERY bad for Remus if he had gotten out and bitten Snape. He could've bitten James as well. Gone to the school and attack. Gotten killed by a teacher. His own guilt would've driven him insane I think. So many thing that would've happened thanks to Sirius' reckless behavior.

Yep! Lily got the truth out of him! It would've been bad if Remus had lied to her and she had found out later on so he had to tell her then.

Yeah, thank you for pointing them out! I just went ahead and edited the chapter to correct them. I'll go ahead and see if I can work on the first part of Remus and Lily's conversation. The beginning was indeed tough to get into so maybe that's why it doesn't flow very well.

Thank you for dropping by to review! So happy that you think that this story is original. Wolf has definitely becoming my personal OC in a way so I want to tell his story as well!

Until next time!

--Rosie


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 793
Submit Report: