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Review:XxImAgInAiReXx says:

So this story is good. Really great introduction, I love the beanbag bit. It's a bit off cannon, with James being in the year above, but it's not much of a difference, so I'm fine with it :)

One thing I'd suggest is starting a new paragraph whenever a new character speaks. For example:

Lily said, "Blah blah blah." And walked away.

"Blah blah blah," Peter said, following her.

It really makes a story more readable :)


Author's Response:
Thanks for the feedback! :)

I've stopped working on this though, but if you want to read my new fanfiction, "This May Be Fatal", I would greatly appreciate it!

Thanks a lot,

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