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Review:Remus says:
Woo! Back once more! :D

So, this Zack guy...is he like the Master of the vampire family? Is it a family? Hahaha Sorry I'm always full of questions. XD

He didn't know if it was his fears talking or if the urge for violence was a wolf thing. Aww, poor Hugo! I honestly think that it has got to be both, you know. the uncertainty he must feel and the werewolf part slowly taking over.

Just so you know, making Teddy a bit character in this story makes me happy! Hahaha, just for being Remus' kid he is one of my favorite Next Gen kids. Woah, is Teddy a werewolf or is he like Bill who has some werewolf trait but is not?

Aww, I hope Hugo tells Ron and Hermione and the rest of the family! Kinda sad for him to go through it alone. :(

Alright, now for a bit of CC:

You have a couple of grammar/spelling issues that I'm sure if you would read over the chapter you would see them. A couple of read throughs help a lot, trust me. XD My Beta kept finding silly mistakes that once I saw them I would feel bad. So now I read, re-read and read some more until I almost memorize the chapter before sending it to be Beta read. If you were to do that, you'll catch the small mistakes you have. For example:

werewolf devison of Control and Regulation--I'm pretty sure you meant 'division'

Or

Sophia was stood waiting for him--it reads weird. If you were to take the 'was' out, it'll read so much better.

I really like how the second part with Hugo and Teddy the description you gave us. It gives the reader more of a setting than a blank slate and two characters talking. Description builds the scene. If you don't have a scene, you'll bore the reader. I would've liked to see that sort of description in the first part with Dimitri and Zack.

Time to read chapter 4 now! :D

Author's Response: Most vampires call themselves covens. Zack's is small and they don't consider themselves a coven, but a family. He kind of adopted Dimitri when he was turned, and Dimitri considers him a father.

Yeah, I'd definitely agree that it's both. And, yay, I love Teddy and I love when others love Teddy. He is awesome. Teddy is not a werewolf, he is like Bill only instead of being attacked, he was born with the traits.

Thank you so much. I really love and appreciate your CC. :)

Sam.


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