Bah I canít believe I am 6th! 6th! Pah. Anyway!
I want to start with how much I love how Severus canít even deny how much Slytherin sucks at this point. Or particularly his group of Slytherins, haha. And now! I will NEVER shake the idea of Severus running around like a maniac, screaming like a psycho and cackling like a witch over a cauldron. Not a harry potter style witch, like a wart nose witch.
Crabbe Crabbe Crabbe. That may have been one of the most humorous, while being disturbing, things Iíve ever read. His sister! His sister! Thatís terrible. But heís so dumb that you kind of just want to pat him on the head and say Ďbless your heartí in the Southern style way that is meant as nothing but an insult while using sweet words. Except Iíll make sure that we are far away from any flames.
So I have to admit, I have absolutely scribbled my name besides Ben way before we were engaged. Itís girl thing. A creepy girl thing, but a girl thing.†And youíve taken that small trait but used it to show how absolutely mental and out of touch with reality Pansy is.
When Severus asks if this is some kind of joke we really see the extent of her obsession slash I JUST WANT TO BE MRS. DRACO MALFOY craziness. It doesnít even cross her mind that heís mocking what sheís doing. Just that the name isnít quite right. I think Pansy is one of those characters that you can almost do anything with. Nothing is out of bounds with this poor girl, but this is just awesome because it really fits in her creepy stalker sense, and just strengthens the image of the girl adoringly rubbing Dracoís silvery locks as he rest in her lap. She might as well have been fanning him and feeding him grapes.
And Snape starts his session out with his own little jab that toward Goyle about Graduating about talking optimistically. But heís so stupid that it just goes right over his head. I would kill to be in Severus position right now, haha. It would be the kind of memories that can make anyone chuckle for a lifetime. Well, not Snape, because itís Snape.
Dracoís section. Please, can you just write something else now about Draco and Snape trying to create the perfect Potion that Lucius uses, maybe add in some sneaky things that they do to follow Lucius around to figure out it all, and I will be forever grateful. You have no idea how much this story makes me smile, and this is far from my first read through, but itís still making me laugh. Who knew you were so awesome at humor? ;).
Daphneís section has officially killed me. Snapeís little scribble next to her name just pushed it over the edge and made all he difference. And Daphne is not someone I want to anger after her little ending sentence!
I have no idea if thereís so kind of Blaise canon about his mother that Iím not aware of, or if everything about his mother comes from your head, but my favorite part was how well it tied in with CoB. It reminded me of the ministry scene with Hermione pretending to be her, and it was just an awesome flashback.
Seriously Dan, I am in awe about how great you pulled this story off. It could have so easily turned into something that was not enough or too much, but itís perfect. The dry humor, the personalities that you didnít even really have to amplify to bring out that kind of comedy, you are awesome. Now when I have bad days and tell you that you have to cheer me up, Iíll know your true talent and expect a little mini funny story ;).
As always, amazing ♥
Author's Response: OK, enough is enough. I've been staring at this all day, trying to think of a witty, clever way to respond. Or at least something that doesn't sound dumb. As it turns out, I'm drawing a complete blank. I think I used up all my wit in this story. I'll have to go write a bunch of sad, angst-ridden, post-war fiction to recharge.
I never got the impression that Severus especially loved his own house, he just hated the others much more. He's a thoroughly miserable individual, and he passes on few opportunities to share that misery with the world. Combine that with the fools that he's forced to suffer and I just can't imagine him behaving any other way.
Yeah, that's pretty much the reaction I was going for with Crabbe. It's fairly obvious where I got the idea to make him a firebug, but you know me, I couldn't just leave it at that. Creepy kids give me the willies, but they're an almost inexhaustible source of humor. He's the type of dumb bully who really doesn't stand a chance in the real world, where he isn't allowed to resolve problems with his fists. Bless his heart.
I think every young girl with a crush has engaged in that at some point or another, but I hope Pansy came across as taking it to a pretty absurd extreme. As in, this is really the only thing she came to Snape's career counseling session prepared to discuss. She has no Plan B. It's Draco or Spinster-hood. And since we all know how Draco's life ends up, you have your answer by process of elimination.
If I was going to take the idea of Draco doing hair and really run with it, I think there are two possible directions that would be even more fun. One would be the conversation he might have with his father. Lucius might just die from sheer humiliation. The other, which seems even funnier to me, is Draco bullying Crabbe and Goyle into being his test subjects. I think the potential of that idea is off the charts.
I have a lot of headcanon built up around both Blaise and Daphne, considering that they're both such minor characters in the books and movies. It's interesting that the story of Zabini's mother and her 7 husbands is told in much greater detail -- particularly the "mysterious" circumstances of their deaths -- in the HP Wiki than in the HP Lexicon. Could be a case of people's headcanon sneaking into the reference material. At any rate, both agree that she married 7 times and that her deceased husbands left her with a lot of gold, referencing chapter 7 of HBP. And I tried to keep them consistent to what is portrayed in CoB, because that just made it fun for me.
I really don't wander into humor too often, so I'm very glad that you enjoyed it. Given the number of reviews and random readings it seems to be attracting, maybe I should do it more often. Thanks so much for another awesome, encouraging review! Until next time...