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Review:academica says:
Hello! I'm stopping by from Review Tag :)

I really loved the emotion in this piece. I think the line about how Peter was just getting fat while his friends struggled to survive really hit me the hardest. I do think it would take an especially selfish person to knowingly live that way, and you've characterized that well with Sirius's emotion. The whole first part, too, at the Potters' destroyed home--the emotion was so tangible. I loved how you described Sirius's fingers as trembling when he picked up the family photo. I could really feel that he was a broken man there.

One little critique--I think this could do with another round of proofreading. For the most part, you're fine, but sometimes the flow is a bit jerky because of awkward phrasing or missing or incorrectly used words. You could try having a friend read over it and beta it for you, if you like.

All in all, I think this was a neat look into the events of that infamous Halloween night, and I liked how you tied together the Halloween that Lily and James died and the present one in third year. Very nice work! :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hi and thank you for the review!

It was rather emotional to write as well. So I'm glad that it comes through. =)

I agree that it needs some proofreading. I'm in a process of trying to find beta for this one-shot. Hopefully I'll get it fixed soon.

It was fun to write an Hogwarts era story for a change. Glad you liked it! =)


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