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Review:SilentConfession says:
Guess who's finally here to review!!!??? Yup, mee!! *lollops in shame* i'm so sorry how long this has taken for me to get over here, i'm absolutely embarrassed! Thanks for your patience Jami!!

Right, to approach your first question with characterization. I think Lily continues to be consistent mostly. Although, the first scene seemed weird to me. She seemed to have gotten over Violet's thing in the last chapter so it was weird to see her flying off the handle this way and for her to suddenly really care about it. It made it seem a little forced and awkward. I do like how she's taking charge of herself and what she feels and isn't sheeing away from the topic but willing to talk about her family (or her sister anyway). That leads me to another point, i think you did the flashback well, but it seemed to focus a lot on Petunia which is great in a way because their breakup is really interesting but since they were talking about Lily's parents and how they were it seemed a little out of context to me. However, it did give some nice background information and i'm not sure if i'd suggest changing it really because i liked seeing the positive side of Lily and Petunia's relationship. It'll be interesting to see where that is all going and how it's going to affect Lily.

I think you got across a more light hearted feeling with this chapter. You're characters interacted well together and I particularly liked the Quidditch scene for some reason. I felt like that was a really real aspect of people's lives at Hogwarts that often gets overlooked in many fanfics. I also liked how you steered clear of the 'oh my ays i'm scared of heights, save me' damsel in distress thing which generally irks me.

You were able to capture that feeling of war but also making it seem far removed. It's the kind of conversations i would hear in University when something bad on the other side of the world happened. So i think you managed to get across what you wanted. How they say Voldemort's name is also a nice touch. I've always wondered how people in the Marauders era would approach that, would they be as scared to say it during Hogwarts or did that come after the graduated where the fear of him came to be so overbearing?

On another note, i did notice that this changed POV quite a bit throughout this chapter. This may be my own personal preference but i found it distracting and hard to connect to some of the characters simply because sometimes it felt like you slipped into one only briefly and then went back to your original. I'm not sure if this was intentional or not but i find that since most of your story has been in Lily's POV that this change part way through your story was a little awkward.

I did like Peter's heroics! It made my heart smile a little to see him being clever. It also added to his final choice though because we see that he's good at being clever, sly, and spy like. I do like what you're doing with him so far and the Lily/James moments made my heart smile :D.

Author's Response: Ahhh so nice to see you here ♥! Sorry I've taken forever to respond, RL is a bit on the crazy side.

So with Lily's anger, in Chapter 4 when the incident happened she walked away before she saw who the girl was. Then in chapter 5 she was polite to James, and Alice kind of points that out here that she seemed fine earlier that morning, then we learn while Alice is asking Lily what changed (in this chapter) That Lily overheard the boys talking and learned that it was Violet Clarke (the girl from the Hogwarts Express) that he'd been with. So the fact that it's Violet is what got her all angry again, because James knows how insensitive and horrible Violet has been up until this point. I did just edit in a bit more to try and make it clear that that's why she was angry, but it must still be a confusing. I'll definitely go back through and try and see if I can make it more clear that it being Violet is the reason Lily's angry :). Thanks for pointing that out!

I'm so happy you liked the flashback! I really writing those. So with those, throughout the story I'll be using them to show how Lily and Petunia split ways. So that's why this one, despite it being centered on her and her dad's closeness, involves much more Petunia. We saw her as a young loving girl in the first one, and now we'll start to see more and more of what broke them up through these.

That's exactly what I wanted! The kind of removed sense of fear. Because up until now (well, until chapter 9) nothing has really touched them at Hogwarts just yet. And you actually start to see the beginnings of that 'you know who' stuff in chapter 10. That's always been something I've wondered about as well :).

Bah I know I absolutely use and abuse third person omniscient in this chapter! I had a few random Alice thoughts in there that I've now taken out, so it's just Lily and James up until the end with Remus's section. Hopefully that helps! But I really wanted to get James's thoughts in during the almost kiss, I just couldn't resist, haha!

Thank you so much for this awesome review, and I'll absolutely look over the PoV again to see if there's anyway to smooth out the transitions and see if I can make Violet a bit more pronounced. Thanks so much m'dear ♥


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